Special service of remembrance worth attending
Readers may recall my letter in the Cape Breton Post on Sept. 18 regarding my insights of a 14-day stay at the Cape Breton Regional Hospital’s An Cala Palliative Care Unit. I had watched my wife Marion Andrews slip away. She passed on Aug. 19.
In this letter I attempted to describe the events and emotions of those days, the excellent care we were given and the wonderful compassion we were shown.
More recently, on Nov. 5, my family and I attended a service of remembrance at Our Lady of Fatima Church in Sydney River. This service was sponsored and led by the Hospice Palliative Care Society of Cape Breton County.
Nov. 5 is of particular significance to me as it is my granddaughter’s birthday, the anniversary of my father’s death and the anniversary of the death of an aunt of mine. I must admit I was not too fond of attending the service but the memories of my wife and her likely words of “you should go” moved me to go.
The service was moving and very poignant. Music was provided by Stephen Muise and the “Men of the Deeps,” Jenn Sheppard and Jordyn Crocker. Some beautiful sentiments were expressed by readers, staff and volunteers.
The service was followed by a lunch and lots of time for grieving families and friends to meet and share memories of loved ones and time spent in palliative care.
The screen shots of the names of approximately 300 departed being read by the palliative care nurses was really captivating. I personally knew five of the deceased.
I quote an excerpt of a short recitation read in Mi’k maq, French, English and sign Language. It was titled “Sharing This Night.”
“We are families and friends who come together to celebrate the lives of our loved ones. Though dearly missed, their strength and guidance will help us through the days ahead. Let us give thanks for the lives of those we mourn tonight.”
One segment of the program that really resonated with me was titled: “Tribute to Families and Friends.” It attempted to describe the many kinds of caregivers and the many types of care. It helped me realize that after several years, we, as a family, had done all we could to make Marion’s life as pleasant and normal at home as we could. It was not a failure on our part when we could no longer care for her appropriately at home. It became beyond our capabilities and the An Cala unit, with all their professional, compassionate and 24-hour care, was the correct and proper decision.
As a family, we never left her side all those long days and nights.
There are many opinions on the use of palliative care. My belief is that it is the most humane way to care for a loved one when there is absolutely no possibility for a good outcome to an illness.
The evening concluded with the Men Of The Deeps singing “We Rise Again” with audience participation. It was a tearful yet uplifting finale.
May I recommend that if readers have a loved one pass in palliative care, which, unfortunately, many will, you should consider attending this service. They are held twice per year and as an added bonus the luncheon was quite tasty.
And as my wife always said: “Nobody gets out alive.”