‘Shy guy’ can get help for condition
I’m a woman who recently moved here, age 42, divorced and newly-dating again. I met a man with a shy, sensitive nature. We’ve gone out over two months, and our dates always ended with a warm hug.
I wasn’t surprised that there’s been no heavy moves toward sex.
But I wondered when it would happen, since we’re both mature, experienced grown-ups.
When we first actually “made out” with more feeling (but no sexual intercourse), he had premature ejaculation. It’s also happened again as we hug with more passion. How do I raise discussing this topic since he’s so shy and sensitive?
– Awkward Hugs
Here’s the question that matters most to you: Can a man with premature ejaculation become a healthy sexual partner?
Yes, if he deals with the condition. Some 30 to 40 per cent have it at some time in their life.
America’s acknowledged prestigious source, the Mayo Clinic, says this: “Common treatment options for premature ejaculation include behavioural techniques, topical anaesthetics, medications and counselling ... it might take time to find the treatment or combination of treatments that will work for you. Behavioural treatment plus drug therapy might be the most effective course.”
So your “shy guy” can start doing something about this condition. Also, it’s unlikely that he hasn’t known about it before this.
Have your first discussion with yourself: Are you ready to be his partner in tackling this and trying different treatments?
Or is it too early for you to be taking on a team approach, which can make sexual activity a frustrating “project” for you until it’s resolved?
Be aware that stress, depression, performance anxiety, even guilt can affect his ability to sustain an erection.
So can abnormal hormone levels and inflammation/infection of the prostate or urethra be a cause, which a doctor must check.
You need to know him better to understand what’s possibly the cause.
Meanwhile, go slow with the relationship, until you feel committed to having a future with this man.
Tip of the day: Premature ejaculation is a common male problem, with a variety of behavioural and medical treatments available.