Our moment of no-zero envy

On Friday afternoon (which was quite warm and sunny outside), the editor of this newspaper was asked about the possibility of taking a “not-completed” grade on this column and leaving it blank.

With a slightly forced smile, she demurred. And in so doing, made us realize that adult Edmontonians have utterly missed the true injustice of Zero-gate at Ross Sheppard High School.

Could it be that older citizens — former students all — are just jealous this pedagogical innovation came too late for them? (One recalls, in this context, the grumbling prudery of earlier generations when the 1960s ushered in the free-love era.)

Could it further be that the adult world is simply angry modern students are the only members of society — other than Wall Street bankers — who face no penalty for failure to perform?

Maybe no one would give a fig about occasional skipped homework if we all had a few off-the-hook slips in a desk drawer for those don’t-feel-like-it moments. In that case, of course, Edmonton schools with a no-zero policy truly would be preparing students for the real world. And the students themselves might get a better lesson on the drawbacks of the policy than could possibly be taught by a goose egg on a piece of paper.

Hands up all the parents would like to take the occasional “not-completed” on dinner. Or on Sunday breakfast, for those mornings when nostalgia for the aforementioned 1960s hits the master bedroom. Think what an incentive for finishing homework that might make on impressionable minds!

And at the workplace a whole range of possibilities present themselves — with similar educational potential for the folks we report to. We’d just have to make sure the hospitality industry was deemed essential and excluded from the program, so they’d be on the job when the rest of us play hooky.