IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE RAMBO LAMBO
Lamborghini LM002 a fearsome, finicky tribute to an era of excess
SANT’AGATA BOLOGNESE, ITALY Before Hummer became an American icon for glorious excess, before Jeep started supercharging Grand Cherokees into supercar territory, and positively eons before the Urus was even a twinkle in Lamborghini CEO Stefano Domenicali’s eye, there was this: the LM002 — the world’s first super SUV.
Originally concocted as a military vehicle (Lamborghini even built a rear-engined HUMVEE-LIKE berm buster called the Cheetah) the Rambo Lambo, as it was affectionately known, was never intended to be a civilian vehicle. Lamborghini, in another one of its down cycles, dreamt of military procurement — visions of $10,000 toilet seats no doubt dancing like sugar plums in their heads — and never intended to peddle the LM (Lamborghini Militaria) to civilians.
The first prototype, trying to appear practical, was powered by a common, everyday Chrysler V8. Only when it became obvious that armed forces were not going to buy thousands upon thousands of Jeeps from a quirky Italian supercar maker with a reputation for, shall we say, intense maintenance needs, were dreams of huge Pentagon contracts scuppered.
Then those crazy Italians — and Lord, let us all give thanks for the lunatics from Lamborghini — had a brilliant idea.
Why not take the 5.2-litre V12 — you know, the one from the mad-as-a-hatter Countach — and shoehorn it into the engine bay of their giant Rat Patrollike desert sled? Then, fit some monster tires, make the interior fit for a prince, and sell the thing for about US$120,000 — a king’s ransom in 1986. For a little context here, a Jeep Cherokee of the same vintage started at US$10,336 and was powered by a not-quite-as-inspiring 117-horsepower, 2.5-litre in-line four.
With around 450 hp, that big, quad-cam V12 would accelerate the LM002 from zero to 100 km/h in about seven seconds and top out at over 200 km/h. In its day, the Rambo Lambo was the biggest, baddest, most outrageous vehicle on the planet.
Everything about the LM002 was outsized. It weighed about three tons (carbon fibre was still the stuff of aerospace lore). It ran on the biggest and rarest Scorpion off-road tires — 345/60VR17S — Pirelli had ever produced.
Now that the entire automotive marketplace has gone fully sportbrute, the Rambo Lambo may seem a quaint anachronism, but 35 years ago, let me assure you, it was the maddest thing on four wheels.
Which makes my first few kilometres behind the wheel an absolute surprise. What I thought would be a fussy, bouncy four-wheeled trial-by-ordeal proved to be sophisticated, bordering on the — dare I say it? — modern. Oh, the steering was heavy and more than a tad ponderous. And the Lambo’s manual transmission was the very definition of a rock crusher, the throws long, gear engagement temperamental, and the clutch worthy of a Schwarzenegger leg routine. But Lordy, the engine was — and still is — a beaut. For all its fearsome reputation, the Countach-sourced V12 is a pussycat. A quad-cam, 48-valve, 12-pistoned pussycat that sounds ready for a Formula One grid, but a pussycat nonetheless. Poodling around town, the LM002’S 12 pistons are the model of civility, all delicate throttle control and oodles, just oodles of low-end torque.
The other big surprise is that the big Lambo’s comportment also borders on the modern. Yes, the steering was Mack-truck heavy. But the actual roadholding? Excellent. The ride was even better than many a modern sport brute — Jeep’s Trackhawk and Porsche Cayenne Turbo S owners eat your hearts out — swallowing bumps large and small without rattling teeth or jarring spine.
It will surprise no one, I’m sure, to hear that the LM002 is, well, greedy. Officially, Lamborghini’s V12 is rated at 35 L/100 km. No, there’s not a decimal point missing. In real life, the LM consumes closer to 50 L every 100 km, which is about five-and-a-half miles per gallon — about what the EPA estimated an 18-wheel “semi” averaged — in 1973.
That’s why the LM’S gas tank holds — are you ready for this? — 169 L. In Italy, gas can cost as much as two euros a litre. That means a fill-up will set you back about 340 euros, or about $500. Yes, just to fill the tank.
So, no, the LM002 is not nearly the fearsome, finicky beast it was reputed to be. But it most certainly remains a fitting a tribute to an era of unabashedly glorious excess, and is the only SUV, regardless of vintage, I would park in my driveway.