MUSINGS ON THE NIFTY 90s
Asking for help can be humbling, but it's necessary
As another of my 90-plus birthdays approaches, I keep hearing of people in my circle of friends hitting the big Nine-o mark. In fact, people who are celebrating their 90th birthdays keep popping up all over the place!
There's Charlie, who still plays tennis three times a week. Arthur cuts his own grass and looks after his lovely garden. Herb writes a newsletter and reads voraciously. Morty creates beautiful pieces of furniture in his woodworking shop; his wife Jane also hits Nine-o in October.
And now some well-known people have also been added to the list of 90th birthday celebrants.
Among them is Charles Bronfman, scion of the famous Seagram distillery family and former owner of the Expos baseball team, who still plays golf three times a week and works in the family office. In fact, I met the handsome Charles some 60 or so years ago when I attended the opening of an east-end Montreal shopping centre owned by his family.
Also turning 90 and still working is Canadian actor William Shatner of Star Trek fame.
Of course, there have been some losses, too, in the 90s group. One of them to pass, sadly, is the great actor Christopher Plummer, one of my personal favourites. Watching The Sound of Music will never again be the same.
Should anyone be listening in on a conversation of people in their 90s, they might hear a variety of topics being discussed.
One of these would concern “the floor.” No, not the floor of the apartment building I live in, but the pelvic floor, that important body part that keeps playing tricks on us day and night.
We might exchange tips on professional help available or discuss Kegel exercises.
Another topic could be problems with balance and the sharing of exercises to steady our bodies and prevent falls.
Of course, we also exchange news about our families. We discuss preparing or reviewing our wills. We catch up on our visits to health-care providers, find out how many and which COVID vaccines we received, and share grocery shopping tips.
But underneath all that activity and chatter, we all acknowledge the fact that, while we're still functioning adequately, the passing of time has brought changes.
For my part, I have noticed that, while hanging on to my cherished independence, I have become more dependent on the help of others. Here are three examples to bear out my observation.
Example No. 1: I gratefully accepted the offer of my hairdresser and friend Toni to accompany me on my COVID vaccination trips. Nervous and unfamiliar with the surroundings, I appreciated her helpful presence on both occasions.
Example No. 2: I have been accepted in Montreal's Transport Adapté Paratransit public transit program. Now, formerly independent me enjoys not having to worry about transportation to appointments. I also enjoy clutching the helping hand of the driver on leaving home and on arriving at my destination.
Example No. 3: I have signed up with a government-approved company that offers housecleaning services and, should I need it, accompaniment to medical appointments and at-home care and companionship.
And how about travel? While being cooped up during COVID days, even a trip downtown sounds exciting, there is still the lure of travel to nearby and faraway places.
The other day I wistfully looked at an ad announcing future European river cruises, complete with on-board valet service.
Will I ever again be able to participate? Or will I have to say, as has a friend, a formerly frequent traveller now plagued by health problems, “My travelling days are over?”
Whatever the future holds, I am not giving up hope.
But now I'm off to enjoy my favourite summer sport, swimming. You have fun, too!
P.S. to my To Move or Not to Move column: In addition to three bins labelled Keep, Sell or Donate and Recycle, a fourth would be Trash. Also, a friend recently sold her house, moving to an apartment and later, if necessary, to a residence. So that's another option.
For my part, I have noticed that, while hanging on to my cherished independence, I have become more dependent on the help of others. Alice Lukacs