Does the cou­ple who juice-cleanses to­gether stay to­gether?

Is a juice cleanse the kick-start your re­la­tion­ship needs?

Elle (Canada) - - News - By Erica McMaster

I used to play foot­ball, and now I’m ly­ing stark naked in the bath­tub, feet in the air, as I give my­self a cof­fee en­ema. How in God’s name did I get here?” read the prac­ti­cally vis­i­ble thought bub­ble above my boyfriend’s head after I had con­vinced him to stick a tube in his be­hind as part of a joint seven-day raw-juice cleanse.

Given that we had moved in to­gether just three months ear­lier, some might view such an en­deav­our as re­la­tion­ship sab­o­tage. I, how­ever, saw it as the ul­ti­mate test of love and com­mit­ment: If we man­aged to make it through this with­out go­ing all Walk­ing Dead on each other ( we both re­ally love chew­ing), we would emerge as a stronger (and less-bloated) cou­ple. I promised Craig that it would all be worth it for the end re­sults: in­creased clar­ity, a huge sense of ac­com­plish­ment and, my per­sonal favourite, a great story we could trot out at din­ner par­ties.

I wasn’t dis­ap­pointed. While peel­ing, chop­ping and juic­ing our way through hunger pangs and di­etary monotony was a chal­lenge of epic proportions, our jour­ney to­ward liq­uid-fu­elled en­light­en­ment was also un­ques­tion­ably hi­lar­i­ous. (I should men­tion that Craig is a co­me­dian, and, well, I like to think that I’m one too.) Feel­ing more svelte than usual on the fourth day (thank you, kale!), I de­cided to don my “for spe­cial oc­ca­sions only” padded an­i­mal-print lin­gerie to spice things up. As Craig du­ti­fully chopped car­rots, I told him to close his eyes and burst into the room to the cue of “Le Freak” by Chic. My best moves are about as sexy as Elaine from Se­in­feld, but the gut­tural laugh­ter and in­cred­i­ble sex that en­sued were worth risk­ing a disco- in­duced an­kle sprain in my skimp­i­est un­der­wear.

Later in the week, still rev­el­ling in our new-found do­mes­tic­ity, I called Craig to see if he could pop out to grab a few juic­ing in­gre­di­ents. He po­litely in­formed me that he wouldn’t be go­ing any­where as he’d just sneezed and almost soiled him­self. Juic­ing, it seems, re­moves the dis­tance be­tween two peo­ple that is nor­mally taken up by per­sonal bar­ri­ers, like, say, bath­room doors.

Mak­ing it through the week did bring us closer. Not only did we learn more about each other’s di­ges­tive quirks than is per­haps nec­es­sary but we were re­minded that laugh­ter (and a lot of sex and movies) will get you through pretty much any­thing. n

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