Time to get into the kitchen
Learning to cook is like learning to pray
I’ve been challenging myself to be a better cook. I am currently horrible at cooking, just ask my wife! To make progress, I needed to take this big goal and break it into smaller ones.
I began my journey by focusing on how to make one meal. I am not talking about Kraft Dinner but an actual good meal. Sloppy Joes are one of my favourite meals, so I asked Kara if I could start with that. She handed me the recipe, and I began to study it. The problem was, I have known for years that to become a better cook I needed to read recipes and start following them. But I have never taken the time to do either of these things.
Two belief barriers were stopping me from stepping into the kitchen. One barrier was that I was afraid to mess up the meal and disappoint my wife. The other main fear was that I didn’t have the skills or knowledge to do it. Once I realized these barriers, I talked to Kara about them and then decided it was time to step into the kitchen. Imagine you approached praying like I did cooking. You want to be better at praying. Well, for that to happen you need to start with a recipe. Just like there are different types of meals there are different types of prayers. For example:
Conversational prayers
These are prayers that are simply conversations between you and God. You share whatever is on your mind (good, bad, boring, etc.). These prayers are kind of like stews. They can be a mix of new ingredients and old meals put together. Stews are a great way to begin learning how to cook. There is nothing wrong with a good, hearty stew.
Contemplative prayers
If conversational prayers contain both speaking and listening, contemplative prayers are solely listening. In their basic form, you can start by focusing on
a specific chapter or verse in the Bible and read/write/listen to it over and over for a set amount of time.
The Psalms are a great place to start with these prayers. This would be like a more complicated dish; it takes more effort but can also be rewarding in a way an average dish isn’t. Think of this type of prayer as marinated chicken with a side of mixed vegetable salad and rice. A lot of prep and time is needed to prepare the chicken, but the result is worth it.
Praying with others
Praying with others is like a potluck or a party. Everyone brings their own unique dishes, but they are all meant to be shared. At a party, I am a sucker for chips, but at a potluck I love scalloped potatoes. The emphasis in this type of prayer is less about a specific dish and more about the collective experience.
Prayers of intercession
This is a fancy way to say praying on behalf of people (family, friends, city, and world). These prayers are kind of like hospitality, like making food and delivering it to someone else’s home without telling them it was from you. This kind of prayer blesses and sustains those around you.
The important part to remember in this kind of prayer is that it’s usually done in solitude without others knowing. Jesus treasures these kinds of prayers because they imitate His own heart for selflessness and serving others. There is a unique intimacy that can be experienced through this kind of prayer.
Gratitude prayers
Giving thanks to God is like salt—more of an essential ingredient to all meals than it is a meal on its own. Without thankfulness, prayer meals can become bland and have no substance. After looking at these brief descriptions, I encourage you to start practising them. Reading these descriptions and not trying them is equivalent to me saying I want to be a good cook but I’m only going to read the cookbook and never step into the kitchen.
You may have beliefs that are stopping you from stepping in. Many people don’t feel worthy to talk to God. But Jesus paid the ultimate price for you and I to have access to Father through the Spirit. Don’t give your feelings of guilt and shame more power than they deserve. You are forgiven, you are loved, and you matter to the Father.
Some people simply don’t know where to start and feel like they could do it all wrong. Maybe you should start with a good stew. It’s hard to mess it up. In other words, start having a conversation with God for five minutes a day (set a timer if you want). Talk about whatever you want.
Maybe you’re like me, and you didn’t realize there were so many different kinds of prayers. You may have been handed the broccoli and not realized there are a whole lot more kinds of food out there. Don’t let the meals you have been given in the past determine the meals you make moving forward.
It is time to step into the kitchen. Just like we all have different taste buds, the Father has created us all uniquely. The way we connect to Him through prayer is going to be just that: unique.
You won’t know what you like until you try it. And your taste buds are going to change over time, so don’t be afraid to try new meals. Who knows? You might surprise yourself or get surprised by someone showing up in the process.
It’s been said that COVID-19 is a great equalizer—a collective reminder of our humanity. In some ways, it is. But in many more ways, it is not. Crises strike unevenly, highlighting the inequality and injustice of our world.
For children and families living in poverty, this pandemic will push them further into poverty and precarity.
It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all the need, now more than ever. One powerful and comforting way to respond is to pray through Scripture. Try using the prayer guide below to pray through the Beatitudes—the words of Jesus found in Matthew 5:3-10.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Bless those whose needs have increased in this season, Lord, and help us recognize our need for You.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Bless those who are mourning losses of all kinds— jobs, milestone events, security, life. Even if we can’t be physically close, help us draw near to one another to mourn with those who mourn.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Bless those who humbly and faithfully serve our communities. Help the rest of us to serve them well as their customers, clients, friends, family, and community members.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Bless those who hunger during this time— whether they hunger for connection, faith, or actual food. Help us to see ways we can fill up those around us and take action.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Bless those who are on the frontlines providing healing and mercy to the sick. Be merciful to them, God. Grant them rest when they have breaks, peace in the chaos, and protection from illness.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Bless our children, Father, and grant them the understanding to cope with all the changes and uncertainty around them. Protect them and give them peace. May this time, though difficult, invite every one of us to be more childlike.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Bless those who are volunteering their time, giving their resources, and spending their efforts to seek the peace of their city (Jeremiah 29:7). Show each of us how to be peacemakers, God, and may our peacemaking cause our neighbours to recognize You.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Bless those who continue to do what is right, even when it’s hard. May we all be open to discomfort, for the sake of loving our neighbours in the way of Your kingdom. Amen.
Please keep Compassion’s local church partners in your prayers as they work to continue serving and supporting children and families living in poverty through this crisis.
If you have the means, you can donate to Compassion’s disaster relief fund at compassion.ca/covid.
This series is about youth who strivte to develop this generation into one of compassion. They are responding to the brokenness in the world by taking action with Compassion Canada. We hope these stories inspire and encourage you.
There have been times in my life when I felt like I was crawling through the valley of death, the darkness draping its heavy body over mine. I struggle through these trenches to get to the other side, reminding myself that the light always does come. Last year, I walked through one of my lowest and darkest trenches so far. There were days where the depression weighed so heavily on my shoulders, accompanied by its good friend, anxiety, that I felt as if I was physically bowing under the weight. There were days where I didn’t know if I could move on, but I learned how to take each day as it came.
That trench drained me of everything I had, yet that’s where I met Jesus face to face. In that pain of wanting the cup removed from my tired hands, He met me there. It was in that trench where I learned how to strip my words and simply ask for help.
It’s in these trenches where honesty happens. There’s a ripping away of the padded words that make my prayers sound pretty to the ears around me. I’m left with the simple “God, I need you right now.” I’m reminded of Jesus in the garden in times like this, how He asked for the cup to be removed, and yet He was willing to keep holding it if that was still God’s plan.
When I’m crawling through these trenches, desperate to get to the other side, my prayers are stripped down to what I can utter through lips dripping with tears. Often, those prayers look like me asking Him to remove the cup. “Take it, I can’t do it anymore.” It’s in these moments of brutal honesty when I’ve been brought to what I think is the very end of who I am, that He whispers, “Keep going, I’m still here.” It needs to be said that the trenches will come. There will be dark seasons that leave you questioning. Being in a relationship with the One who created dandelions and paints the sky every morning and night doesn’t mean those trenches won’t come. But by crawling through these trenches and standing on the other side, I’ve learned I don’t need to fluff up my prayers. He already knows, and He just wants to hear my voice, even when He’s still by my side.
In the garden when Jesus didn’t know how much longer He could hold out, He simply asked God to take the cup. He didn’t explain all the feelings building up in His chest, He simply prayed, knowing His Father already knew. These are moments we need to tuck away for the seasons spent crawling through the trenches, knowing that honesty with the One who goes before is all we need. In my life, I’ve seen Jesus show up through these honest prayers, the simple, “Hey, I need you right now.”
It’s in these moments of brutal honesty when I’ve been brought to what I think is the very end of who I am, that He whispers, “Keep going, I’m still here.”
Have you ever thought about why we pray, apart from feeling like we’re supposed to or knowing it’s the Christian thing to do? All through high school, I treated prayer as an opportunity to present my checklist to God.
My prayers often looked a lot like this: “Dear Lord, thank you for (insert friends and family). Please help so and so with this and that. Please help me with this other thing. In Jesus’ name, amen.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that kind of prayer, but looking back I can see my prayers lacked intimacy.
Sometimes praying can feel boring or aimless. Asking the question “Why do we pray?” has helped me immensely with the intentionality of my prayers. While at Portantorchas Bible School in Costa Rica, I learned that we praise and pray to God because He is worthy. Simple, right? Yet so profound. Having an answer to the why question changes how I come to God. It redirects my perspective from seeking God for what He can do for me to seeking Him to know Him.
Practically, when I start my prayers now, I begin by thanking God for who He is, “Thank you that you are a loving and attentive Father. Thank you that you love me deeply and know my heart and pursue me. Thank you that you are a forgiving and gracious God.”
I think you get the picture. I still ask Him for things, but it’s different—more of a deep, trusting relationship. Recognizing, remembering, and proclaiming who God is helps me to have a deeper relationship with Him. When I allow the truth that God is worthy to inform my actions, it helps me remember who God is and who I am in relation to Him. He is the Creator of the universe and also a loving and attentive Father. I am His child who can come to Him in helpless abandon. Knowing I am helpless without God reminds me of my vulnerable position, but that’s exactly the point. God wants our vulnerable, real selves. God welcomes me in whatever state I’m in— distress, anger, sadness, guilt, joy, etc. He wants it all. When I allow myself to trust Him fully, I can come to Him just as I am, helpless, without trying to hide behind my self-righteousness.
The thing about intimacy, as Paul E. Millar says in his book A Praying Life, is that “you don’t create intimacy; you make room for it…. Efficiency, multitasking, and busyness all kill intimacy. In short, you can’t get to know God on the fly.”
I love this idea because it takes a lot of pressure off of us to perform. I don’t have to try to say the right thing when I’m with God or try to clean myself up before I spend time with Him. I can just come and sit in His presence. Sometimes I’ll read a passage in the Bible and pray through it, while other times I’ll quiet my heart and ask God what He wants to say to me.
As much as I’d like to tell you that
I have this all figured out, I don’t!
I’m still learning and growing in my relationship with God, and sometimes I just straight up suck at it! Take heart, because prayer is like anything else that takes practice. The more we pray, the more natural it becomes.
Just like any other relationship, our relationship with God will require us to spend intentional time with Him. There are many ways to make room for intimacy with God. We are all different and likely connect with God in different ways. If you’re unsure how you connect with Him best, you can always ask Him! Our God is such a good Father and His heart desires to grow in relationship with His children.
So how will you make room for intimacy with our worthy God today?
God wants our vulnerable, real selves.