FROM DESENSITIZATION TO COMPASSION

Walking the streets of Hamilton put poverty in a new light

When I first moved to Hamilton, Ont., I worked at a men’s shelter. I didn’t own a car, so I also walked everywhere. For the first time in my life, poverty was right in my face. I realized how easily the separation of a car window can desensitize us to not give someone living on the streets a second glance.

One day, I met a girl who couldn’t have been more than a few years younger than me. Her hands were cold from the winter air, her hair was tangled, and scars ran down her cheeks. I was standing in my winter coat, all bundled up giving out soup. Our eyes met and I could see a glimmer of hope within her.

She thanked me continuously for the soup, a simple bowl of soup. I saw a reflection of myself in this girl. I have no idea what it’s like to go hungry or not have a bed to sleep in, but I too have experienced deep wounds that have left scars. Sometimes I too feel like a tangled mess inside. After this girl walked away, I had to sit by myself for a while. Tears rolling down my face, I asked God, “Why her and not me?”

“The poor hold up a mirror to our most uncomfortable truths,” wrote activist Craig Greenfield on Instagram. “And so we push them to the ragged edges of our communities so that we won’t have to face our own failures and addictions. This is what we mean when we say someone is ‘marginalized’—they have been banished to the margins.”

It can be so easy to take life for granted when all our needs are met. It was in that moment I realized how desensitized I had become to those less fortunate than me. I wish we lived in a world where children didn’t go hungry, where boys and girls weren’t trafficked for other people’s sexual pleasure. I wish parents didn’t lose their jobs and could always cook three meals a day for their families. I wish I could walk home without seeing anyone lying in a sleeping bag because they have no home.

Still, there are those in this world who are fighting for equality and fairness. I think of Jesus’ selfless love and lifestyle while He was on earth. Jesus walked the streets healing the sick and giving sight to the blind. Jesus restored people’s lives unconditionally. Jesus had family and friends, yet He never made a home with four walls or stayed in one place (Matthew 8:20). Jesus took the lowest position possible to give us everlasting life.

So, how can we love those who have been forgotten? According to the life of Jesus, grace and love go together. One cannot work without the other. We can imitate His selfless love if we take our eyes off of ourselves and try to see other human beings in a way that acknowledges their true worth.

Instead of crossing the street to avoid someone, we can make eye contact and wish them a good day. Instead of ignoring those experiencing poverty, we can research what our cities are doing to help them and get involved in helping. These are our sisters, brothers, friends, fathers, and daughters. Selfless love is the only thing that transforms the human heart.

“The poor hold up a mirror to our most uncomfortable truths

Ienjoy being loved by everyone. I find it quite simple to love those who invest in me and seek friendship. In other words, loving people who love me. But I get all jittery and tense when people just straight up don’t like me. In a certain scenario when I had a conflict, I handled it in a way that wasn’t loving. I felt extremely uncomfortable being around this person. I isolated myself away from him as much as I could, and I talked trash behind his back.

I just want to put it out there—this is not how anyone deserves to be treated. I regret how I acted in that situation. Luckily, we have an awesome understanding from the Word of God on how we should treat others even when they simply don’t love us back. First, in Jesus’s famous Sermon on the Mount, He makes a shocking but powerful statement: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:2728). This is the opposite of what we naturally want to do. Imagine a world where everyone loved their enemies and treated them with compassion. I think we’d be in a drastically different place than where we are now.

The best (but also the hardest) part of Christ’s command is that it doesn’t just begin with everyone around you—it begins with you. Loving people unconditionally will change the world. It is an absolute.

So, if Jesus is right here, and I think He is, this means I have to reframe my earlier response to the guy I had a hard time with. I’d have to love this person even when I didn’t want too. I’d choose to bless him and do good to him. Instead of talking behind his back, I could pray for him. Love them. Bless them. Pray for them. Make it a step of obedience to love everyone without conditions, and learn what it means to do this. Perhaps start by sending an encouraging text to someone you haven’t encouraged well lately and maintain contact with them. Consider small, helpful, or loving gifts that demonstrate you recognize their value. Perhaps ask them for coffee or lunch and pay for them.

To bless means to come from a heartposture that wishes only the best for others. A way to demonstrate blessing is doing good things for a person even when those actions don’t benefit you right away.

Lastly, pray for this person. Write a list of things you can pray for them so you can build them up. Commit to praying for them every day for just two minutes. God will not only work in their lives, but He perhaps will change your heart too through this regular act. If you want to better our world, this is a step in the right direction. Jesus loved the tax collectors. He healed the lepers and cared for the poor. He loves those who are not loved by anyone else and even loves those who do not love him back. He died on the cross and was resurrected for all people’s sins. Jesus is the ultimate example of what it means to love those who may not love us back. The Apostle Paul once wrote, “Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Let Christ’s life be the reason for your love, and let His love transform the way you love those who don’t love you.

So, if Jesus is right here, and I think He is, this means I have to reframe my earlier response to the guy I had a hard time with.

Idon’t know how to stop a pandemic, but I do know how to bake. When COVID-19 started, I found that baking was an effective way to process my fear and anxiety. I stocked up on supplies and baked everything I could think of: cupcakes, cake, bread, donuts, and most of all, cookies in more than a dozen varieties and flavours. My family was happy with the suddenly extensive selection of dessert choices. Eventually, I filled my family’s freezers until there was no more space. I ran out of containers to put baking in. What now? We couldn’t possibly eat all those cookies in a week, and I was horrified at the idea of going a week without baking anything. What else would I do with myself?

My parents suggested I give away some of my baking. So, I dug through our cupboards for containers and filled them up with an almost startling variety of cookies, squares, and mini cupcakes. I had baked a lot more than I realized.

My dad is the pastor of our church, and he made a list of some people in our extended church community who he said we should deliver cookies too. I knew a few people on the list, but some were almost strangers to me—people I had never even talked to at church. But trusting his advice, I packed a bag full of containers into the car and we made our rounds throughout the city.

The doors we knocked on opened to surprised faces. My dad did most of the talking, but I watched the recipients’ faces light up as I handed them a package of cookies. As they gratefully accepted the gift of baking, I heard their stories. Some were struggling with working from home or having difficulties with online schooling. Some were facing illness and injury in the family. Others were dealing with sadness or loneliness.

By hearing them speak, I learned that we are more alike than we are different. I didn’t know these people, but they were my church community. We may have different lifestyles or backgrounds, or possibly disagree on some things, but we are united by our faith in Jesus. I’ve been surrounded by home baking my entire life, so to me, I was just handing out some extra cookies. But for many of the recipients, it was a rare treat that came right when they needed it most. This gift was a reminder that their church family still cared for them, that they were not forgotten in this challenging time.

In the months to come, I continued baking up a storm, and at the first mention of someone going through a rough season, I would pack up more cookies. Just as much as the baking helped me deal with my worries and fear, sharing my treats with others filled me with joy.

Maybe you are facing challenges in your life that, like a pandemic, seem impossible for you to make a difference in. Perhaps you feel like your attempts to be kind to a difficult person are going ignored, or that your small donation to a church fundraiser is insignificant. Maybe you’ve been trying to invite a new neighbour to church, but feel like you’re not making any progress.

We can easily feel like our love isn’t enough to make a real difference or that it just goes unnoticed. We can wonder what our small acts—like baking—can do in the midst of all of the darkness of the world.

But at those times, we have to remember that Jesus used a boy’s small gift of five loaves and two fish to feed thousands of people (John 6:1-13). This boy didn’t have much to give, but he trusted that Jesus could use it and Jesus multiplied that gift into a miracle. Our God can do far more than we could imagine from the seemingly small and insignificant. We simply need to step out in faith and love others. I encourage you today to reach out, not with flashy “headliner” kindness, but through simple, everyday things. Maybe it’s a smile to a stranger, a quick text of encouragement to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or telling someone you’re praying for them. Maybe it’s helping a neighbour with yard work, giving a gift to a struggling family member, or taking time to listen to someone’s troubles. You might think it’s nothing, but to someone else, these acts of love can mean the world to them. Love is never wasted, and Jesus’s love is moving in more amazing ways than we can imagine.