WHAT TO WEAR I FEATURE

Style watchers share secrets for finding your own personal best.

MAKEOVERS FOR women make entertaining TV. Hair colour and cut, makeup and wardrobe are all critiqued, then reworked and the women profess to be delighted by the results.

Fast forward three months. Would the new look still be evident, or would the women have reverted to their former selves?

Joan Heaton, president of Cameo Models in Waterloo, wonders about that. “Women know what they’re comfortable with,” she says in an interview, “and it’s not necessarily what people in the business would recommend. But everybody has their own comfort area. How many women tell their hairdresser they want a new hairstyle, then go home and wash it out?”

Heaton and other fashion observers say it’s not that women shouldn’t revamp their look at various stages of their lives. It’s just that they should be self-aware enough to

Women know what they’re comfortable with and it’s not necessarily what people in the business would recommend. Joan Heaton

embrace the styles that feel right.

“We can give them rules for what to wear after 50, but if they’re not comfortable with that....” Heaton says.

“I’m not critical of other people. That’s their look and if they love the wrong things, fine, if they feel good about themselves. For example, a larger woman wearing way-out makeup and jewelry — if I tone her down she might feel awful.”

A hairstylist once told her he thinks >> Joan Heaton, president of Cameo Models in Waterloo, says it’s important that women find their own style, but they also need to listen to what their mirror says.

>> women who keep changing their look suffer from low self-esteem, “or they could just be bored,” Heaton says with a smile. However, women do need to be aware of their bodies and try to recognize when they should start covering up, Heaton says.

“Try to look critically at yourself. In modelling, we look at the body from all angles. Some people don’t realize how they look from behind. “Are you a career person? The corporate image is not short skirts and low-cut tops. Women try to look young by dressing young, but it just makes them look older.”

Kitchener image consultant Sylvia Stutz has taught workshops on What To Wear and Dress and Etiquette for Success at Conestoga College for many years. Most of her students are in their mid-40s to 50s. After 15 or 20 years as caregivers with little time to worry about themselves, they feel they’re in a bit of a rut when it comes to style, but aren’t quite sure what to do about it. They also feel let down by two of their body parts — the upper arms and abdomen — because even without gaining weight their bodies look different; somehow their clothes aren’t as flattering as they once were. The concern of older women about the firmness of their upper arms is almost universal.

“It’s difficult to find a gown that’s not sleeveless, but still stylish,” Heaton says. “I have sleeveless dresses, but I never wear them alone. You can always wear a little jacket.” Stutz agrees with Heaton that women who are content with their appearance should embrace it and go forth with confidence. She doesn’t see a dichotomy between those women and the women who register for her workshops. The latter group can still be themselves while keeping in mind the information she provides. “It’s all in how you put yourself together.”

If you worry all the time about how you look, that lack of confidence is how you will come across.

Sylvia Stutz, image consultant

She sees value in helping women feel secure about their appearance. “If you worry all the time about how you look, that lack of confidence is how you will come across.”

Laurier associate professor of psychology Anne Wilson concurs. “If a person is content, outward image matters little,” she says.

Wilson, who holds a Tier 2 Canada Research Chair in social psychology that was recently renewed for a second five-year term, says there is evidence a person’s selfworth comes from a lot of different places. “The way we look could be a huge part of our self-image, or it can be what we do rather than the way we look.”

For some people, self-worth is derived from internal, stable sources such as their values, ethics or relationships.

For others, self-worth is based on external, unstable sources such as their appearance or perhaps their competitiveness. “They tend to feel really good about themselves some days — if they’re having a good hair day,” Wilson says. “Another day won’t be as good, and that instability is a problem as it leads them to constantly seek improvement.”

While Wilson’s academic research explores time, meaning and memory, she is interested in body image issues, including the consequences of our steady exposure to media standards of beauty that are unattainable for 95 per cent of the population.

“Ads convince us we’re pretty inadequate, which means some women are constantly looking for the next new product,” Wilson says, noting that middle-aged women and their disposable income are the target >>

>> market for a “huge industry” of new, expensive anti-aging creams. “As people age, not only are older women held to standards of beauty but also of age,” Wilson says. “The goals are ever harder to meet.” Wilson is fine with workshops that help women look their best, although she’d also like women to realize people generally “are not walking around harshly judging others.” Her students have run experiments based on a Dove Real Beauty video in which an artist sketches two portraits of an unseen person, one based on her self-description, the other on a description of her by a stranger who has seen her briefly. Without exception, Wilson says, the portrait based on the stranger’s description is more attractive and engaging than the one sketched from the woman’s description of herself. What the experiments show, Wilson says, is that women are more critical of themselves than others are, and “where it gets to be unhealthy is when they’re desperately seeking self-improvement.” That’s true at any age. Heaton tells her young models “to ‘change what you can and let the rest go.’ If you wear what you think looks good, at least you please one person.” Women tend to watch other women and try to imitate a style they like “which is a foolish thing to do,” Stutz says. “An extrovert can make a winter red dress look great while an introvert wants to shrink away from that red dress.” Her goal is to help women put themselves together in a new way. “I can take women of any size and shape and make them look like a million dollars,” she says. Using herself as an example, she says, “I’m not tall, but if I dress in one colour or tone-on-tone, the eye is not interrupted and comes right up to my face, which is why hair and makeup are important.

“If you’re letting your grey hair come in naturally, you should wear it in a hip style. Grey hair is aging, but cut in a current style it can look good.”

She’s critical of hairstylists who, told to “do whatever you think,” give their middleaged customers an old-fashioned cut.

“It’s all about attitude. You can be old in your 30s depending on your attitude. If you fixate on your age, you start acting like it and talking (too much) about it. You need to keep learning, and be aware of what’s going on in the world. Keep looking ahead; challenges keep you going.”

As for fashion, Stutz says, “in your 40s you can still wear clothing fads, but don’t put them all together the way cute teenagers can. You don’t want to try too hard.”

Heaton and Stutz have classic styles of dressing, each with a touch of pizzazz that lifts them well above the ordinary.

“I have clothes that I’ve had for years and years,” Heaton says. She closely follows fashion trends for business purposes, but for herself she’s more interested in colour trends than in seasonal tweaks in design.

A peek in her closet would reveal garments in black, grey and taupe, but no navy — “I’d feel older in navy,” she says. Her silk scarves feature the same neutral colours, but also >>

As people age, not only are older women held to standards of beauty but also of age. The goals are ever harder to meet. Anne Wilson, associate professor of psychology

at Wilfrid Laurier University

>> have brighter accent colours.

Heaton recommends not shopping with friends, believing they may unconsciously recommend pieces they see themselves wearing.

She described a morning she was persuaded to buy a rusty-coloured sweater during a retailer’s open house for clients. Although her inner self was dubious, she was caught up in the convivial atmosphere and purchased it. “I do wear it on occasion, but I don’t love it,” she says. “I have sweaters in greys and blacks that I wear much more often.”

Stutz also adds a twist to her classic clothing. For example, if she accessorizes with a pearl necklace, it’s not the three neat strands the queen wears; Stutz will twist her three strands around each other for a chunky look that has more impact.

Classic clothing serves you for years, Stutz says.

“The young can shop at stores like H&M and look great, but it doesn’t work as well for older people.”

And if you build a wardrobe around timeless pieces, remember that quality in fabric and workmanship is very important. If budget is an issue, she urges clients to check out sales at high-end clothing stores that provide an opportunity to buy well-tailored pieces at very reasonable prices.

Stutz estimates she’s counselled 3,000 to 4,000 people, individually or in groups, over her career. Among them are men who were referred by their wives or, occasionally, a girlfriend.

“Many men don’t want to spend a lot of money on clothes, and their wives might say their clothes don’t look right, but they don’t know why,” Stutz explained.

For one thing, she finds men frequently wear inappropriate shoes not suited to the rest of their outfit because they’ve opted for comfort over style, or they wear leather shoes that haven’t been polished to look their best. “Men and women who wonder why they have so much trouble shopping for clothes haven’t taken the time or have the knowledge to really look at their bodies,” she said. “In choosing clothing, one’s vertical body type is more important than the horizontal.” For example, she avoids low-rise pants or jeans because she is short-waisted.

Despite their worry over arms and abdomens, Wilson says older women do realize there is more to life than appearance and they’ve become more attuned to what makes them happy.

“There can be quite a disconnect between what you say is important to you, and what you need to be happy,” Wilson says. Following fashion may be a great interest without fashion itself being critical to the individual’s level of contentment and well-being.

As for those makeovers, they may be more effective for young people than the middle-aged.

“Younger people have more fluid selfconcepts,” Wilson says. “That’s why most advertising is directed at people in their 20s. It’s harder to switch a person (to a new product or new look) at age 40 or 50.”

Nonetheless, there is evidence symbolic landmarks such as a new apartment, a new job, a new hairstyle can, just like a new year or a birthday, “allow us to leave part of our old identity behind. A revamped outward appearance can signal our intention to make a fresh start.”