Sometimes it’s a choice

My husband of five years is allergic to smoke. My father smokes and is aware of my husband’s allergy.

He smokes in his home, in his car, generally everywhere. At family functions we’ve asked him to leave the table, not smoke in the house if we’re visiting, etc. My mom, sister, and her family all can’t stand his smoking and have made the same requests. To no avail.

It’s been five years with little to no change. We’re seriously considering not visiting at their home and he’s about to be unwelcome at ours. We’re currently expecting our first child (it’s a high risk pregnancy), and I fear that my parents won’t be seeing their grandchild because of his smoking.

– Wit’s End

Tell him just that he chooses either smoking or a relationship with grandkids.

I know how tough that sounds and I also know how hard it is to quit.

But there’s little greater incentive than being welcomed by loving family, including the adoration of a grandchild. There are many ways he can find online for quitting but one that readers have written about as most effective is Allen Carr’s “Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” Talk to your father openly about your real health concerns for your child and your husband.

Encourage him to start a process, and stay in contact with him, emphasizing how important this is to his health and to the whole family.