A beautiful death
Maximeville man who chose medically assisted death remembered by wife
In the last hours of his life, Paul Couvrette, 72, sat at his kitchen table and shared a meal of savoury seafood chowder and fresh biscuits with his family.
It was a happy, if subdued, event they recounted stories and reminisced about old memories. As the evening progressed, Couvrette, took a few minutes to chat quietly with each of his step-children. Then he read a goodbye letter from his youngest granddaughter.
When all the farewells were done, he told his family “I’m ready for my adventure.”
The children gathered his beloved dogs and left for a walk along the Maximeville shore, in front of what had been his retirement dream home.
He made himself comfortable, and as the pre-chosen time arrived he signaled his consent once more to the medical team by his side. As the drugs that would end his life were administered, he thanked them for their help.
Before the end, he turned to Liana Brittain, his wife of 14 years, and uttered a line from his wedding vows, “I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you when you walked through the door. I’ll love you forever, plus three days.”
Brittain held his hand through the procedure and talked to him softly as he slipped away quietly.
“It was very beautiful,” she recalled last week from that same dream home.
Couvrette, a retired psychotherapist from Ontario, is believed to have been the first person on P.E.I. to avail himself of a medically assisted death, the law against which was struck down just over one year ago. He chose May 10, his wedding anniversary, as his final day. He hadn’t wanted his wife to associate the anniversary of his passing with too much sadness, so he chose an otherwise happy
day for them both.
The decision
Couvrette decided earlier this year to seek a medically assisted death after a short battle with cancer. In 2015, Couvrette and Brittain sold their home in
Ontario and moved to P.E.I. to live out their retirement years together by the ocean.
Not long after settling here, they got a message from Health P.E.I. informing them they had been assigned a family doctor.
It was during a meet and greet that their new physician noticed Couvrette had a persistent cough. Subsequent tests showed signs of cancer. “Thus began our journey of choices,” said Brittain. Couvrette opted not to undergo radiation and chemotherapy as he had witnessed others go through that treatment and was not eager to do the same. But his doctors were confident they could remove the tumour as it was small and seemed to be isolated. Unfortunately, the cancer returned quickly after the surgery and spread aggressively.
He decided again to refuse treatment and requested palliative care instead.
“Quality of life is more important than quantity,” he would say, said his wife. Time went by without Couvrette showing any symptoms, but then he started falling.
More tests showed a brain tumour.
It was then that the couple made their decision regarding an assisted death.
“Paul knew it was either be bedridden in agony or choose medically assisted death,” said Brittain.
“That was what he wanted. He realized this was not a choice everybody would want to make and he totally respected that … but he felt it was the right choice for him.”
The couple made all the usual preparations: they updated their wills, arranged his cremation, and talked about what Brittain would do.
Weight lifted
Finally, a day came when there were no more hoops to jump through and no more arrangements to make.
For his final days, Couvrette wanted to enjoy his home, his friends and his family.
So there was a steady stream of people through the front door and he and Brittain spent time doing things they loved – cooking together, writing, playing with their dogs and talking. They were great days, said Brittain, very different from before he’d made his choice.
“He felt totally empowered. His whole demeanor shifted. He was lighter, he was happier, he was excited and really, really felt empowered. In control,” she said.
“When he made the decision – he was so carefree. The decisions had all been made.
“It was a very positive time, a very positive experience for us both.”
Brittain has nothing but good things to say about all the medical professionals here who helped them through this experience.
Even though her husband’s case was a first, everyone was compassionate and made a sad experience more bearable, she said.
Couvrette really appreciated everything they did for him.
The future
With her husband now free of his suffering, Brittain must decide what her future holds.
Originally, she’d hoped to stay in the home she and her husband loved so much. But her own health problems have forced her make the difficult decision to sell the property. Once it sells, she will return to Ontario to be closer to her children and grandchildren. She has also made a connection with Dying With Dignity Canada, a national organization that raises awareness and advocates for assisted death. She plans to spread her husband’s story in partnership with that organization. That was one of the things he’d asked her to do. To tell his story, she said.
So that’s what she’s going to do. For forever and three days.