It takes two to make certain decisions
My wife of 30-plus years and I have been adding a fictitious third-party (male) to our sexual adventures.
In each fantasy, it’s someone she knows or works with, or men whom I know. It really spices things up for both of us with mind-blowing results. Now, I can’t get the thought of real threesomes out of my head and I’d like to add a secret (but known) friend to a session to see if my wife enjoys it.
She likes mild bondage, blindfolds, and toys, and is game for naughty stuff, but I’m unsure how she’d handle discovering someone she knows participating while she’s blindfolded and tied to our bed.
I’d never hurt her feelings or go against her wishes, but this is driving me crazy.
– Beyond Fantasy
Here’s what’s “crazy,: having someone she knows be a surprise participant in bondage and sex play, without her consent!
There’s a huge difference between being blindfolded and talking out a fantasy turn-on, from being mid-fornication and suddenly seeing an unexpected co-conspirator along with your partner.
I’m all for mutually consensual sex that causes no harm/ danger and doesn’t involve children. But there’s no consent here, just a self-serving scheme to heighten your own lust. What’s truly “mind-blowing” is the disrespect it shows your wife of 30-plus years.
Ask her, if you must. And make sure she knows exactly what you mean. Then make sure all three of you agree on boundaries.
FEEDBACK
Regarding the woman in her 30s asking, “When is it time to have cosmetic surgery to stay looking youthful?” (May 31):
Reader: “I’d add to your response, that those concerned with looking youthful should keep away from the things that we know age people.
“So, get enough sleep. ALWAYS wear sunscreen. Do not smoke or drink to excess.
“People having a lot of cosmetic surgery, and at such a young age, are more likely to be lacking confidence in themselves. Their appearance matters too †much to them.
“Fix what really bothers you if you want, but otherwise, †spend time enjoying life.”
Ellie: My response, again: It’s a strictly personal choice. Maintenance gets pricey while youthfulness also shines through from healthy fitness/nutrition and a positive personality. Anyone considering cosmetic treatments should talk first to an accredited cosmetic surgeon or dermatologist, and learn exactly what will be done and the expected outcome.