Respect is the most important thing to share

Q: Can there be too many differences between two people and love still keep them together? One couple among my friends don’t seem to fit together.

She’s more spiritual and a regular church attendant; he doesn’t go at all.

He’s a smoker, she’s not; he likes to drink but she doesn’t. She’s always decent but he tells all manner of jokes.

One loves parties, the other doesn’t.

Once, she attended a party but left early with many excuses - she didn’t feel well, wasn’t comfortable among friends who drink and drive, was worried about her kids, and tired.

That was her first and last party with our friends.

She later said that her strict family background influenced her lifestyle. However, the couple had some things in common: they’re both impulsive. Also, depending on the news they read, they had either an excellent day or a really bad one. Both easily influenced by news!

They seemed in love with each other. Will their relationship last?

— Very Curious

A: If this is really about a friend, your guess is as good as mine.

If it’s really about you - that’s sometimes the case when people write to advice columns - then the outcome depends on you as much as him, plus the circumstances you’ll face over time.

Can love conquer all odds? Yes, but it takes a lot of will and respect along with a strong emotional connection. Example: Someone who doesn’t like to drink can accept that a partner does enjoy it, and both can decide if they’re comfortable with one attending drinking parties and the other avoiding them.

Marriage is a long-haul ride together. There are bumps and obstacles, but there’s also the comfort of companionship and the shared goal of achieving happiness together.