When in fear for a friend, speak up

I fear that my friend from university is now living dangerously.

She’s late-30s, married, goes on a dating app related to a sexual fetish.

She’s talking to random men when her husband’s at work and kids are at school. Recently, she confided that she’s hooked up with two different men so far.

Her marriage is cold but “successful” at raising their four kids, and economically, too.

I don’t approve of her behaviour but believe I’m the only person she can tell.

She’s always been the risky one between us.

Now I worry about her but feel if I speak up, she’ll resent me for being judgmental, and carry on till something bad happens.

– Very Concerned

If you don’t speak up and “bad” happens, how will you feel then?

There’s a difference between judgment and concern. She already knows that you don’t approve.

More important, you care about her.

Also, you can stand back and see the potential dangers of her meeting strangers.

While she’s focused only on escapism, you’re considering the possible consequences regarding her physical safety, upheaval to her children’s lives, and how her marriage will implode publicly.

Speak up.