Don’t be so quick to judge a relationship

I’ve recently developed feelings for the son of a family friend.

We had innocent crushes on each other as kids, then teenagers. We’re both now 31.

He’s been living in the United States for ten years, while I live in Canada. He has a young daughter and shares custody. Several months ago, he reached out and we started texting. Now we’re texting/phoning daily.

I’ve spoken with his daughter and she told me her daddy likes me a lot. I’d met her here when she visited her grandparents. The problem: I purchased a new-build townhouse several years ago with my now ex-fiancé. I own the townhouse since our breakup last year. It’s to be completed in February.

I’ve never lived alone and am excited to do this on my own.

But my potential “boyfriend” will never move back here while his daughter lives elsewhere. I’d never expect that.

If we get serious, I’d have to move for him. I’d do this if I truly loved him and felt he’d do the same if he could.

But I’m reluctant to pursue anything for fear of it not working out.

My feelings for him are increasing, but I don’t want to complicate my life in case things don’t work out.

I’m over my ex but still having trouble trusting people.

– Here or There?

Almost everyone contemplating a serious relationship has some fear that “it might not work out.”

OR, it might. Your fears aren’t unique, but don’t let them shut down your emotions.

There’s been an attraction between you two for years.

Use these months ahead to give the relationship a chance. Whatever trust issues you had/still have with your ex, this man isn’t him.

Living alone has its positives, but missing out on someone who could’ve been the love of your life doesn’t make sense.

Visit him, get to know his life and circumstances there. Then decide whether it’s him, or the townhouse.

FEEDBACK

Regarding the step-father who worried that his wife’s son owed her too much money: Reader: “Your advice was totally wrong.

“You told the poor male sap to back off from telling his wife to claim the owed monies back, because you believe he and she have enough money to get by.

“I’d tell my wife to pursue getting the owed monies back from her son, or I’d stop making up for the financial shortage.

“If gender roles were reversed, I’m sure you’d tell the stepmother/wife to back off because there wasn’t enough financial savings to get by.”

Ellie: I do not have gender biases. I answer the questions based on what the writer says and feels, not on what sexual group he/she represents.

This writer’s annoyed about the debts to her, but is also clear that the couple have enough money for their lifestyle, and that he’s happy with his relationship with her.