Know when to draw the line when flirting

Should I feel guilty because I’m overly flirtatious?

My boyfriend and I dated for several years and moved in together six months ago, in our late-20s.

I’ve always been flirty, it’s fun. But I don’t cheat.

I like it best if the guy responds in kind but I don’t give out my phone number.

I make it clear that we’re just playing a game.

– Flirty Girl

You don’t have to feel guilty but you do have to be smart.

You’re “playing” with two people’s feelings, your flirt partner and your boyfriend. And you’re playing with a risk factor to yourself.

Flirting’s a “game” as old as humankind, but so is jealousy, anger, and revenge.

Be very careful with whom you tease then disappoint.

There’s also a matter of respect.

Your boyfriend may not appreciate your habit of turning on other guys.

And your flirt-target may feel disrespected (or worse) when your attentions wane.

Realistically, lots of people flirt at work, with contacts at coffee haunts, at the gym, etc. But the best use of that heightened arousal when you’re already in a relationship, is to keep it casual when out, then take it home.

Use it to spice up the relationship which you already have.

In two more years I’ll get my Bachelor of Arts degree, but feel that Criminal Justice is the wrong program for me.

I want to pursue a one-year firefighting program, and get qualifications for my dream career.

The job’s very competitive, so if I drop the degree program and don’t get into firefighting, I’ll have wasted money and time. I don’t know how my parents will feel about this because it can be an unstable path.

– Uncertain

Every career choice has unpredictable aspects, but your “dream career” is clearly more appealing.

You can dither too long and turn decision-making into uncertainty, confusion, and even depression. Short-term career counselling can be helpful. Learn whether you have skills and attitudes appropriate for firefighting.

Also find out whether having that BA degree first would make your firefighting bid stronger in the competition for places.

Once decided, show determination to your parents and yourself.

TIP OF THE DAY

Flirting’s fun when it’s not hurtful to others or risks harm to yourself.