‘Parenting’ includes protection

My sister-in-law smokes pot to what I consider problem levels (the only time she is not stoned is when she is asleep.)

We don’t live near my husband’s family. But we’ll soon be staying with my husband’s family for a week to celebrate our daughter’s first birthday together.

I told my husband that I wouldn’t let his sister drive my daughter or me anywhere when she’s been smoking. However, because she drives her own daughter when she’s high, I’m being accused of saying she’s a bad mother.

I’ve not spoken about her parenting. I don’t think my request is unreasonable.

Is there a way for me to say this that won’t sound accusatory about her driving her own child while high?

She’s always gotten her own way in the past but this is one thing on which I’m not willing to compromise.

– Worried

Do the research on driving while high. Show some to your husband.

Examples: the US National Institute on Drug Abuse says, “Marijuana significantly impairs judgment, motor coordination, and reaction time, and studies have found a direct relationship between blood THC concentration and impaired driving ability.”

And from www.leafscience.com/2017/12/13:

“It is not safe to drive while high. Marijuana can affect your ability to react, making it unsafe to drive and increasing your chances of a crash. “Some reports show that people who drive within one hour of using marijuana may be almost twice as likely to be involved in a car accident compared to those who don’t consume marijuana.”

Most important besides scientific facts is standing up to prevent harm to your child and you.

Every family may have their own interpretations of what that involves, but you have to stick with yours unless the scientific findings change over time.

Your husband is defending his sister. But protecting his child and you are his more crucial responsibilities.

FEEDBACK

Regarding the letter about the woman who was raped (Jan. 5, Nov. 29): Reader: “That writer tried to blame the victim for the assault.

“What’s needed is putting scrutiny on the perpetrator. “A person who has cognitive impairment due to alcohol, drugs, prescription medication, etc. cannot give consent to sexual activity.

“Therefore, the other person shouldn’t attempt to engage in sexual activity.

“Also, a person entering a private space with another person is not a justification for assault. “Every time we enter another person’s personal space (i.e. touch their body) there needs to be consent. “Sometimes it’s verbal (Do you like this?) or physical (pulling closer).

“But, physical contact that’s noticeably unwanted or repeats without clear consent is an assault.

“Until we start focusing on the actions of the aggressor and place full responsibility for their act of harm, our society will continue to view victims in a judgmental and uncompassionate light.”

TIP OF THE DAY

“Parenting” includes checking reliable information and standing up for what you believe protects your children.