Lift the medals from their necks
There will be about 100 medal ceremonies at the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang but not one strip show, unless you count figure skating wardrobe malfunctions.
This is what I’m getting at: “Russian mixed doubles curler stripped of Olympic medal for doping”
“Russian curlers stripped of medal after doping violation”
“Russian curler stripped of Winter Olympics medal after admitting doping”
This is a sample of the headlines Thursday after Alexander Krushelnitsky reportedly returned his bronze medal and left South Korea, having tested positive for meldonium, a banned substance thought by some to be a masking agent that indicates broader performance-enhancing skulduggery, a treatment for improved blood circulation, or both.
It’s not clear if he gets to keep the cute little plush version of Soohorang the tiger, the Games mascot.
Krushelnitsky refused a hearing from the Court of Arbitration for Sport and accepted a provisional suspension extending past the Olympics, according to CBC, but he reserved
his rights to seek the elimination or reduction of any period of ineligibility based on no fault or negligence following the Games.
A statement in Krushelnitsky’s name published by the Russian state news agency TASS said the curler accepted the fact that meldonium had been found in his sample but that he had not doped intentionally. I suppose it’s possible he could have been in a room where others were openly regulating their circulation and he picked up some second-hand meldonium. Krushelnitsky won the bronze last week along with his curling partner and wife, Anastasia Bryzgalova. If she wasn’t part of the scheme, that must have been some flight home on the Olympic Athletes from Russia express.
Magnus Nedregotten and Kristin Skaslien of Norway placed fourth in mixed doubles, losing 8-4 to the Russians. It’s assumed they will get bronze. Canadians Kaitlyn Lawes and John Morris should have their gold medals from the event safely tucked in their sock drawers. Krushelnitsky would have received his medal during one of the nightly two-hour shows at the Olympic Plaza. There are elaborately costumed medal bearers and escorts for the athletes, as well as victory ceremony theme music written by well-known K-pop composer Cho Young-soo, which is something I’ll just have to take their word for.
My modest proposal is there be a place set aside at the Games where the likes of Krushelnitsky actually have their medal taken from their neck, just like a slowmotion video in reverse. If the crowd feels like slowly chanting shame, shame, shame, that’s up to them.