Know when to seek professional assistance

My wife has given up on sex for 15 years. She says she doesn’t need it, but gives me manual release once/twice weekly.

She’s 55, and I’m early-60s. I love sex. I’ve started to use escorts/massages, etc. I hate doing this but other than leaving her, this is how I survive.

It’s expensive, dangerous, and worries me. I try to quit for maybe a month then return to my habits.

I’m retired, but considering what I spend on this, I can afford to talk to someone for help (not my doctor, whom we share).

– Expensive Sex Habit

Talk to a sex therapist. You’re not alone in this kind of situation, and an experienced professional will have suggestions, e.g. soft porn and perhaps even other intimacies with your wife.

Share what you learn and she may find it interesting and also attend with you. Or not.

My husband has always known my feminist values.

But the #MeToo movement has brought out an unknown side of him that I cannot accept.

He says it’s a witch-hunt, disregards women’s stories, doesn’t care about their experiences, and even said women just need to say NO louder and leave.

I’ve explained the nuances to him, recounted my own experiences, described how women are raised and may not feel able to stand up for themselves.

He shouts me down or ignores me. If it weren’t for our young son, I’d honestly consider leaving.

He’s shown a side of him that doesn’t respect me, is mean, and a complete bully.

– Unsure What to Do

Speak up firmly. Say you don’t accept meanness or bullying. Say you understand that some cases need to be tried in court, but the reports must be respected and investigated.

If he can’t accept that, mutual loss of respect will drive you apart.