Value of #MeToo stories is awareness

Having read about men affected by #MeToo sexual incidents, a bad memory came back vividly and powerfully.

I’m 49, a professional, happily married for nine years.

I’ve never told my wife nor anyone about this occurrence when I was around 13.

I loved trains and cycling. I’d often ride my bike alone, climb an embankment, and watch the trains go by. One day, when I was about to go home, a guy, late teens or early 20s, approached.

He threatened that if I said anything he’d drown me in the creek. He grabbed me, kissed me, ordered me to pull my shorts down. He performed oral sex at both ends. He told me to give him my underwear and my socks. I started to cry and scream. He slapped me and tore my t-shirt, saying that if I don’t stop screaming he’d rip more clothing and my parents would kill me for it. I kept quiet. He smeared dirt all over me, saying to tell my parents that I got into a fight. He told me to count to some number, eyes closed. At the end of it he was gone. I remember he also had a bike.

I put my shorts and shoes back on and biked home all tattered. I remember that my lips and genitals were bruised.

I had a key. I remember rushing inside (my parents were both on the balcony), grabbing new socks, underwear, and t-shirt, hiding the ripped shirt in the closet until I could ditch it outside. My parents noted my dirty appearance. They believed that I’d gotten into a fight.

I don’t know how and why I eventually forgot about this. It’d been traumatic, short-term.

Yet I very recently rolled my eyes thinking, why after so many years, are women suddenly coming out with #MeToo accusations that they probably couldn’t even remember!

Now I know. Triggers can bring back these memories and details. I haven’t made up anything here. I was raped and sexually assaulted. He got away with it. Who else were his victims?

– No Longer Forgotten

There were undoubtedly more victims. Sadly, many likely didn’t forget and move forward as you were able to do.

Meanwhile, shame and fear of not being believed kept them and you from reporting. You’ve been shocked by the memory, but also made more understanding of others’ pain. The value of #MeToo stories is awareness, and recognizing that this movement is finally trying to change both attitudes and reactions.

Thanks for sharing your story.