Plans to work together should start with counselling sessions

My daughter, 25, graduated university with honours in my same specialized field, and asked if she could be my business partner.

I built my firm and good reputation on my own. I was a young widow whose husband hadn’t left any insurance or savings, so I had to make a go of it.

My daughter’s known a far easier life than I’ve had, because of my success. Now, she wants to be a full partner and have regular office hours, whereas I spent years seeing clients in after-work hours for their convenience.

She’s smart and has the intellectual skills required, but I worry that she hasn’t the level of patience and compassion that’s also needed.

What if some clients don’t take to her, or her to them? Or, if I feel she’s not pulling her weight, do I still hand over half the net proceeds? But my greater fear is whether my stating these doubts or holding her back from a partnership will prove a huge mistake. Am I risking our motherdaughter relationship?

– Professional or Maternal

You’re asking a relationship advice person about a major business decision?

Well, it tells me that your mother-daughter connection matters most, at least to you.

So I’m urging you to see a business adviser on your own, but no, I’m not passing the buck.

First, look at your dynamic as family: Does your daughter still see you as her “provider?” Has her education and current lifestyle been totally funded by you? Do you two have a lot of areas of conflict and stress?

If any of these concerns apply, you’d be wise to insist that any plan to work together starts with some joint counselling sessions. It’ll help boost your mutual understanding and self-knowledge. Both are necessary to cooperate and compromise on joint projects. You’ll both also need to feel comfortable that there’s a solid basis of mutual respect for working together.

Then, before responding to your daughter’s request, talk to a business consultant about partnership agreements, and what’s involved.

Should you insist she buy a share over time? Will she accept salary-only, during an entry year or two of getting hands-on experience with this particular business and its clients? Once you’ve considered the logistics of taking on a partner, tell her what you now believe is necessary. Both of you should then get legal advice on how to structure a partnership arrangement that’s fair and satisfying to you both. All this takes time, which is a good thing, so that each of you can adjust to the new working relationship if you go ahead. Meanwhile, keep massaging and building the family bond, that’s even more important to your harmony as parent and adult child.