All in perspective

I was raised in a village in Europe by my maternal grandparents while my divorced mother was working. She and I moved here when I was an adolescent and visited my grandparents every summer.

We’ve known my grandmother was battling illness these past years, but on our very recent visit of several weeks, I saw that she’d become extremely ill.

I stayed by her bedside much of that time.

I’m now late-20s, live on my own, have a full-time job with long hours to pay my bills. Add in the high expense of airfare, and I’m wondering this:

Since I was just there, and all reports indicate her awareness is diminished, is there any point to my going back for the funeral?

– Undecided

It’s a question asked by countless people with relatives left “behind” in their country of birth when they emigrated: Do you go “back home” for illness, or the funeral?

Considerations include not only the cost of travel, and the demands of their job (sometimes having to forego salary or even risking being let go) but also some responsibilities to children and others that can’t be met if even only one parent is away.

In this case, you were there for your grandmother.

The funeral is a show of respect that others see, but she had you at her side when needed.