Communication needed for trip plans

Several months ago, my husband planned a trip to Las Vegas with his buddies. I wasn’t pleased about it only because it was his friend who told me the plan.

A week later, he told me that a mutual female friend was also joining them.

I expected the friend to tell me that she was part of the trip. She didn’t. I was upset. We haven’t spoken since.

I don’t think this is a matter of who’s right or wrong but rather one of respect and consideration. Your thoughts, please.

– His Private Plans

It’s not clear to whom you’re not speaking, if it’s your female friend, that’s a side issue to resolve.

If it’s silence between you and your husband, it’s seriously wrong. In any union, one needs to know when a partner’s taking off on a trip — as a courtesy, and as a respectful check that the timing doesn’t interfere with the other’s needs.

Speak up. Tell him you’re hurt that he didn’t tell you about the trip, and more hurt that this woman’s involvement is almost secretive.

There may be a reasonable explanation, so don’t react ahead of getting an answer. Unless you don’t get one.

Tip of the day

Not speaking is never a helpful way to resolve hurt feelings in a relationship (except to briefly calm down).