Answer a cry for help swiftly

We’re three girlfriends, late40s, who received an odd email from a former close friend of us all.

We rarely hear from her. She’d become secretive about her personal life and distant. She often doesn’t answer her phone, emails, or even her door.

She wrote that her son’s getting married within this year, and that we’d be invited. She added that she was going through an acrimonious divorce, which she’s trying to keep private.

Her email was rambling and hyper-sounding, full of confusions about how to handle all the arrangements involved. One recipient told me, “If that were you who wrote this, I’d be right over to see if you’re alright.”

What do you think this was about and what should we do?

– Odd Message

It was a cry for help. She may not even know it, especially if she shuts down when she has troubles.

Yet she reached out to three of you, whom she once trusted as close friends.

Email back. Say that you’ll help her with the planning/event any way you can. Tell the other two recipients to also send offers of help, if they agree.

More important, show up at her door, just as one friend described. After all, if not now as the time to show support, when? Come prepared, if she doesn’t answer the door, to put a note in her mailbox.

Keep it short but direct: You’re available to sit with her and listen, or not talk at all while helping her with whatever’s needed for this wedding, at a time when there’s too much else going on in her life.

Tip of the day

Answer a cry for help swiftly, and ready to listen without questioning.