Self protection is vital to rising above hurtful experiences

During the ending of my marriage, I stopped calling old friends.

What was I going to tell them, that he dumped me for someone younger, thinner, prettier, smarter?

No thanks! I choked on those facts and cried alone, until I couldn’t stand my own miserable company.

I found some other women online who also needed some laughs in their lives and five of us really clicked. We did fun things together, went bowling, had a pizza-making contest, watched old movies we loved, etc. However, after a couple of months, when we started going to bars to drink and dance, the atmosphere changed.

Two of the women were judgmental about how the other three (including me) dressed, danced, talked with men who chatted with us.

Suddenly, it was high school and Mean Girls again.

I quit the group because I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m left with one good friend from that experience (the other one among us three is a “pleaser” who just ignored the gripes).

What’s your take on all this?

– One Friend Only

One good friend is a treasure you’re lucky to find. Perhaps, too, enough time has passed that you can re-connect with any missed “old friends” from the past.

You’re not hiding behind tears any more. Instead, you emerged strong and bold, with the courage to seek totally new acquaintances and join them in fun to get your spirit back.

What if a couple of them were jealous types? There’s always some of that around, and you were smart enough to cut away rather than let them get to you.

That’s called self-protection, and having some life experience teaches us that it’s a necessary instinct.

You’re in a good place now. No room for Mean Girls.

Tip of the day

Self-protection is a vital part of rising above hurtful experiences. “Moving on” is what you can make happen, instead of just waiting.