Don’t use someone who genuinely is interested in you

I’ve been divorced for three years, living with my young child whose father left us both.

I do everything: working, running the house, driving my child everywhere, etc.

I was too tired for dating, then met a man online who became so helpful, I had to give him a good chance to prove I could trust him. He repairs things at my home, comes over at a moment’s notice when asked. He’ll also bring take-out for dinner when I’m too tired/busy to cook. But I began to realize that I wasn’t seeing my girlfriends much or going to a fitness class, things that I’d always enjoyed.

The first time I told this man that I’d be going out with “the girls” one night, he appeared stunned and hurt. I was uncomfortable when he said he needed me more. He’s a really nice guy whom I like as a person. I’m also aware that it’s hard to find a good man at my stage.

But I’ve felt no strong chemistry between us, though he keeps repeating that he needs me.

Should I be grateful for having him around and not risk online dating again? Or is he too needy?

– Good Men Hard To Find

You can’t limit the benefits a new dating partner brings you, to only what serves you best. He does sound needy, but why wouldn’t he when no limits were drawn on his coming over “to help you.”

That said, if there’s no chemistry on your part, there’s little chance of a happy future together. Do him a favour and gently say how much you’ve appreciated all that he’s done, but you don’t have the emotional feelings that he deserves in a dating relationship. End the handyman calls.

Tip of the day

Don’t lean on a dating partner for repeated help if you can’t return the feelings he/she wants from you.