‘Star-crossed romance sad but common
I’m a woman, 44, who’s only dated two men. My latest relationship broke my heart again.
I dated this guy for 18 months. Early in our relationship, he decided that my country isn’t for him. Instead, he wanted to return to the country where he used to make a lot money (he’d lost all his money here).
Though we love each other very much, we were never intimate because he was worried that I’d end up hurt.
He determined that our relationship wouldn’t work and tried hard to keep his distance. He’d previously had two longterm relationships of six years each. After that, he didn’t believe in love anymore and had many girlfriends, changing girlfriends every two weeks. I told him he has commitment-phobia. We broke up because I asked if he’d tell his family that he has a girlfriend, or would he visit my home. He denied both.
He refused to talk to me and the following day sent a text telling me that I deserve a better person and that he won’t date again until he leaves this country.
I miss him very much and he misses me, too, but he said he cannot deal with any relationship now. I felt hurt and abandoned. Everybody in my life told me that I’m better off without him and I should forget about him. I just want to be with him.
– My Sad Story
Yours could be called a “star-crossed romance” since, though you apparently loved each other, both outside forces (his financial problems) and internal issues (his commitment fears), prevented fulfillment of the relationship.
Sad, yes, but not uncommon. As mature adults, you came together with different pasts — you, ready to embrace love, he, afraid to risk losing love (not to mention his money problems). But now that you’ve known love, you can hopefully recognize it again, with someone far less conflicted about it.
Recently, a young couple moved next door. Their bedroom windows face one of our bedrooms. Yet they’ve chosen to not have any window coverings.
They’ve also chosen to have the lights on and be “butt naked” in front of both of these windows. They seem like nice people, but are they just stupid, oblivious or don’t care?
This is a room frequently used by my 11-year-old granddaughter. How do I tactfully handle this situation?
– Grandma’s Dilemma
The couple have the right to be naked within their own home. While a 1991 Ontario ruling gave women the legal right to expose their breasts publicly, there are jurisdictions in North America where, if the couple can be seen from the street, they’d be considered portraying “public nudity.” Police could be called with a complaint.
However, neighbour relations remain smoother with a knock on the door and a friendly explanation, plus inexpensive curtains and a window shade for your granddaughter’s bedroom window.