#MeToo movement causing confusion
MANY MEN FEAR MISSTEPS WITH WOMEN: EXPERTS
They keep falling like dominoes: Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, Patrick Brown and most recently members of the Canadian pop-rock band Hedley, high-profile or celebrity men who have been accused of sexual misconduct as the #metoo and #timesup movements continue unabated.
Experts say these social media campaigns of outing males for alleged wrongdoing have created a climate of mistrust between the sexes and left many ordinary guys feeling confused, fearful and wondering whether any of their past actions towards women will somehow come back to haunt them.
“When I speak with younger men, and this is in and out of the workplace, they’re just swearing off women,” said Christine Hart of Calgary, who describes herself as a gender intelligence expert. “Not in droves, but socially they are so confused by what’s going on out there and they’re scared that something could be taken the wrong way.
“So guys are coming together and saying ‘I don’t even interact with women anymore, I barely make eye contact,’” said Hart, who does presentations to corporations and public forums to help improve understanding and communication between men and women.
“On the social level, they’re just so afraid of doing something that’s accidentally wrong.”
Ayan Mukherjee, a Toronto registered psychotherapist who works with men, agreed there is a lot of trepidation around social interactions with women.
“I think men are also feeling like, ‘You know what? It was already kind of hard to reach out to women from a dating point of view, even if you’re trying to reach out in a healthy manner and a sex-positive manner,’” he said.
“Now it has become even harder in the sense that one false, unconscious move and you have been categorized ... there is no spectrum from being someone who just flirted badly or made a faux pas versus a serial rapist.
“And right now, they are fearful that social media vigilantes are not looking at it as a spectrum, that if you have done something even on the mild side of the spectrum, you are now being categorized as a rapist or a molester.”
Being painted by the same sweeping brush as those alleged to have mistreated women has also angered many men, said Hart.
“They’re upset with these men for disrespecting women in the way that they are,” she stressed. “And it’s coming from a real heart-centred place ... they’re pissed about it.”