Despair stifles, hope revives

Cursing one’s birth (Job 3, Jer. 20) is understandable but futile. It is not the day itself one rejects, but oneself, one’s parents, and God.

Genes of many generations have been funnelled into your being through your parents. God used those genes to create you: a unique human being. He also made the pregnancy and birth proceed well — the very thing expecting parents, family and friends pray for. Your birth was not an accident but the merging of many God-planned factors.

In your despair, you may groan, “If my life is God-willed, why is it so horrible, full of misfortune?” We are all born into an imperfect world; we all face challenges, some more severe ones. You’re not alone.

Extreme negative socioeconomic circumstances, like poverty, crime, lack of work, services, and medical care, make it very difficult to rise above that situation and make a success of life.

Growing up in a household where booze and drugs spoil every day with abusive language and behaviour makes children sink into despair, feeling “if this is life, why do I have to endure it?”

Having bathed in the soothing sunrays of love and togetherness, and then being rejected by the lover, makes young people feel that the bottom of the bucket has fallen out, and there is nothing more to live for.

Constant rejection and bullying erodes self-esteem and zest for life. When one repeatedly receives negative feedback from important others, one is inclined to internalize those comments, accepting them as true. Rejection first causes shock and anger, but later crystallizes into dejection, depression and hopelessness.

Receiving a diagnosis of a life-threatening condition is like a heavy punch to the stomach, making you sink to the floor. Friends and family help you to your feet, encouraging you with helpless words. In desperation, you reach for straws to keep you afloat. Despite the cost and severe side-effects of experimental treatments, you are more than willing to do anything to delay death.

Although the odds are against them, many fight back and prevail. Many have refused to sit and wait for external help and embarked on a long and treacherous journey to better circumstances.

However, mass migration from war-torn and poor countries to Europe and North America can’t go on indefinitely. Population explosion and economic development must be addressed in under-developed countries, so that the need to flee will subside.

The causes for despair in the imperfect world are many and versatile, but for those with the will to live and to prevail there are options — if they are willing do their best.

Shifting from “what can I get?” to “what can I give?” is a good starting point (Mark 9:2224). How can you help?

Jacob Van Zyl of Lethbridge is a retired counsellor and the author of several faith-based books.