Navigating the holiday season

Holidays can be difficult for person living with dementia

The holidays are often filled with opportunities for togetherness, sharing, laughter and memories. Families will often arrange gatherings to celebrate, and sometimes these events can pose special challenges for someone living with dementia.

Unfamiliar places, large groups of people, noise and a hectic pace can increase anxiety for people living with dementia. The holiday season can be particularly stressful for care-partners. However, with some adjustments to these traditional festivities, people with dementia and their families can enjoy what the holidays have to offer. Whether the person you’re caring for lives at home or in long-term care, sticking to a regular routine helps minimize stress.

A person living with dementia may feel a special sense of loss during the holidays because of the changes he or she has experienced. They may miss a loved one who they lost a long time ago, may not recognize the family around them, or may feel that someone is missing. It is common for people with dementia to lack enthusiasm and interest in holidays. In the early stage, a person with Alzheimer’s or other dementia may experience minor changes. Some may withdraw and be less comfortable socializing, while others may relish seeing family and friends as before. Whenever possible, include the person living with dementia in decisions and activities. Remember we are all different, no matter what challenges we face.

Care-partners may feel overwhelmed maintaining traditions while providing care, and they may also feel a sense of loss since their loved one is not the same as he/she was for prior holidays. Emotions may be particularly challenging during the holidays when so much is going on. Be kind to yourself and those around you.

So, how can you and your family create a positive and meaningful holiday experience? While some traditions may no longer be practical or possible, new traditions can be started.

• Plan to do something special, but keep it simple, such as going for a walk together or decorating the tree.

• Try to stick with regular schedules as much as possible and plan activities during times the person living with dementia is more open to participating.

• Try to keep celebrations small.

• Consider hiring help or asking other family members and friends to help, perhaps by bringing food, or coming early to help set up, or spending time with the person living with dementia (reminiscing about holidays in the past may engage everyone).

• Get the person living with dementia involved. Have them participate in preparations and tasks that they enjoy doing.

• Choose those occasions and traditions that are most important to you and your family, or

• Create a new family tradition, like watching a favourite holiday movie, attending a religious service together or singing traditional songs.

• If you are visiting an unfamiliar home, try to anticipate what you will need, for example, labelling on doors, non-slip mats for under dishes, or a favourite item from home.

• If visitors will be staying with you, try to anticipate what they will need to know, for example, don’t leave doors open or leave pills or other potentially hazardous items where they may present a risk.

• Remember that quiet, oneon-one activities, such as looking through a photo album together or playing cards, are less stressful than noisy activities with several people, even for someone who used to enjoy that type of activity. Ask the person living with dementia and adjust if necessary.

As the care-partner, remember to take care of yourself and your own needs while also caring for your loved one. Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. Some traditional activities are best left out if they create undo stress or anxiety (ie: baking, creating large holiday feasts).

Keeping things simple and cherishing the time with family will make the holiday period enjoyable and meaningful for everyone involved.

For more information about caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or other another type of dementia, contact the Alzheimer Society of Alberta and North West Territories, Lethbridge office at 403-329-3766.