Have that tough talk before it’s too tough to do it

It was uncomfortable.There was fear. There were tears. This past weekend I did something I’ve never done.

Sitting on the table in front of me was a booklet and a small pile of fill-in-the-blank papers. I was prepared for that tough conversation with my mom. Advanced Care Planning.

It’s been said that most people believe they will have a quick death requiring no medical intervention. Research shows only 10 -15 per cent of the population passes away in this manner. Which means you have a very good chance of needing a feeding tube, receiving CPR or having a ventilator breathe for you, if only for a little while.

Have you taken the time to consider when you want the doctors to do everything they can for you to stay alive? Do you know the risks versus benefits of CPR? If you can’t communicate your wishes for medical intervention, who will do that for you?

This is an important subject that can save many people from conflict and heartache. Sharing with your family and doctor about what you want when you near your end of life protects your children/family from the burden of guessing what you want — and making the wrong decisions.

There are often questions about when is the right time to have a “do not resuscitate” order, what does it mean to be intubated, and what is full care versus comfort care. It’s important to decide when you want to have all measures taken to prolong your life, and at which point you will let nature take it’s course. These are specific questions and decisions to discuss with your doctor or a health care professional. You may have a personal directive through your lawyer. Many government health services also require you to complete a specific form that can be left with your doctor and family members. I recommend you have a copy right on your fridge, or in your green sleeve in the event an ambulance is called for you. The paramedics will want to know your wishes.

Perhaps you have now felt fear, been uncomfortable and shed a few tears. Don’t delay. As tough as this talk can be, it gives everyone a lot of reliefand much peace.

The Caregiver Coalition of Southeast Alberta offers “The Kitchen is Open” coffee and chat group runs the second Wednesday of each month. Contact Lorna for more information.

Submitted by Lorna Scott, Caregiver Strategist, Caregiver Coalition of Southeast Alberta, The Caregiver’s Lighthouse. Author of the best selling book Walking the Journey Together … Alone Lorna@TheCaregiversLighthouse.com (403-5488437)