Any­thing can hap­pen

Medicine Hat News - - LIFESTYLES - Dr. Linda Han­cock

Boxer Mike Tyson once said “Ev­ery­one has a plan un­til they get punched in the mouth.”

It is in­ter­est­ing that most of us think life should be peace­ful and pre­dictable with­out any prob­lems or crises. But that isn’t re­al­is­tic. There are a num­ber of things that can hap­pen which throw us into a “tizzy.”

– We can­not pre­dict ex­actly when some­one we love will be gone but ev­ery­thing stops as soon as we hear the news. But grief doesn’t just last for an hour or a day. It can af­fect us for a life­time, es­pe­cially if we get “stuck” in a sit­u­a­tion of unresolved be­reave­ment.

– We have come a long way in the area of medical re­search and tech­nol­ogy but there are still dis­eases that we can­not fig­ure out or cure. Life ex­pectancy has in­creased by more than 20 years in the past cen­tury. That means that while we have learned how to live longer, there is also more time when a per­son can be ill. When the life ex­pectancy was 50 years there was very lit­tle fo­cus on os­teo­poro­sis as this is a dis­ease suf­fered by older peo­ple. Now, os­teo­poro­sis is rec­og­nized as a medical prob­lem that we may ex­pe­ri­ence.

– Ter­ror­ism has put the whole world on alert. Com­mu­ni­ca­tion net­works and tech­nol­ogy daily make us aware of global crises in real time. We have to be care­ful not to get caught up in the trauma.

1. Death 2. Ill­ness 3. Crises 4. Weather sys­tems

– We can­not con­trol the out­door en­vi­ron­ment and of­ten have to change our plans for the day be­cause of changes. Storms, smoke from for­est fires, floods, or earth­quakes can some­times leave us feel­ing “trapped” or help­less.

5. Fi­nan­cial set­backs

– Have you ever ex­pected a cheque that didn’t ar­rive? Has the stock mar­ket dis­ap­pointed you? Did you lend money to some­one who didn’t pay it back? Did your em­ployer de­clare bankruptcy or close the busi­ness, leav­ing you with­out in­come?

6. Bro­ken prom­ises

– Un­for­tu­nately, some peo­ple make prom­ises that they will never be able to ful­fil. Oth­ers tell you what you want to hear to get their im­me­di­ate needs met. Oth­ers just lie.

– In­di­vid­u­als can be de­lib­er­ately or ac­ci­den­tally harmed. Abuse can come in the form of men­tal, emo­tional, phys­i­cal or fi­nan­cial at­tacks.

7. Abuse or vi­o­lence 8. Laws and poli­cies

– The gov­ern­ment and eco­nomic world of­ten in­tro­duce changes that might not be a ben­e­fit for you. Just be­cause some­thing worked for you in the past doesn’t mean that it will con­tinue and you may find that there is noth­ing you can do about it.

– You can be com­pletely in­no­cent but still be the tar­get for some­one who tries to dam­age your rep­u­ta­tion. In Canada we are told that we are in­no­cent un­til proven guilty but some­times it doesn’t feel like that — es­pe­cially if it takes months to com­plete the in­ves­ti­ga­tion or trial.

9. Ac­cu­sa­tions 10. Re­jec­tion

– Peo­ple are not mean to other peo­ple un­less they are un­happy in their own lives. Some­times an in­di­vid­ual will re­ject you be­cause you don’t give them what they want or if you speak the truth to them about their bad choices. Poor com­mu­ni­ca­tion can also cause mis­un­der­stand­ings.

If you are go­ing through a dif­fi­cult time right now and feel like some­one has just punched you in the mouth, you do not have to feel like you are alone. Psy­chol­o­gists are trained to help prob­lem-solve and deal with dif­fi­cul­ties. You are just one phone call away from get­ting the sup­port that you need.

Dr. Linda Han­cock (www.Lin­daHan­ is the au­thor of “Life is an ad­ven­ture…every step of the way” and “Open for Busi­ness Suc­cess” is a Reg­is­tered Psy­chol­o­gist who has a pri­vate prac­tice in Medicine Hat, Al­berta Canada. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email of­fice@dr­lin­da­han­

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