Holiday memory making: Loving what was and what will be

The snow has fallen; decorations all around and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It’s a beautiful time of year, full of memories that can brighten your day, and ones that can make you want to run and hide until February.

The holiday season often reminds us of how much our lives have changed now that we are caregiving. For many, the biggest Christmas wish is “I wish things were normal again.”

While we can’t turn back time, it is possible to bring back some of the joys of Christmas past and find joy in the moment. The key point here is to tune into the joy.

One way to do this is to go through old photos. Take out your photo albums, boxes of photos (I know you have some) and digital photos. Look for the holiday photos that bring joy and the ones thatmake you laugh. Take a few moments and remember the stories that go with the photos. Share this with your loved one for whom you are caring. Ask them about which photos and stories are meaningful to them.

Fast forward to today. Take out a piece of paper and write down the funniest, most loving and joy filled memories you just shared. Which of these can you bring into Christmas 2017? Is there a favourite gift, family story, custom, activity, or Christmas food that would make this year extra special?

Another way to do this is to think ahead about what memories you want to create for years to come.

One thing I’ve heard over and over from caregivers after their loved one has passed away is that they would love to hear their voice one more time. With today’s plethora of electronic gadgets you can easily record audio or audio and video of your loved one’s voice.

Take this thought a step further and come up with one or two questions you ask each family member and record their answers. You can record them in person, on the phone or even by Skype. Not only will you capture the thoughts and voice of your ill loved one, you will also have the thoughts and voices of family that you can play for your loved one when they want to reconnect with them. This creates special memories for those last few weeks and months in the life of the person for whom you are caring. As you are reading this I am in Chicago, preparing for my presentation this morning at the second annual National Caregiving Conference, Our Boldest Hours: Before, During and After Caregiving. I will return with a wealth of information to share with you in the coming months.

Lorna Scott is a caregiver strategist with The Caregiver’s Lighthouse; author of the best selling book Walking the Journey Together … Alone. Contact her at Lorna@TheCaregiversLighthouse.com 403-48-8437