Speaking of God
Last fall I was diagnosed with cancer. I’ve always been very healthy so the diagnosis came as a shock. While I waited for surgery, I contemplated my mortality. I was pretty anxious. After 40 years in ministry, it was the first time I needed the pastoral attention I’ve offered to others in the same situation. Yet I didn’t tell many people because I wasn’t sure I could handle too much attention. I prayed. So did a few friends. My church kept an eye on me. But I kept wondering and worrying. Then it happened. As I waited to receive communion one Sunday, I felt a profound sense of peace embrace me. I knew whatever happened, God was with me. And, thanks to the skill of a fine local surgeon, the procedures went well. With a little TLC from my best friend and nurses at MH Regional Hospital, I recovered quickly. No further treatment is required but if it had been, I had confidence God wouId bring me through.
Now why tell you such a personal story? Presbyterians tend not to speak often about personal encounters with God. We are raised to be modest about such experiences. We don’t want to claim too much for ourselves. Yet these days, it seems those who lack any experience of God’s presence are quite willing to speak out against those who trust God exists. Believers are criticized for being naïve or misguided. It’s easier to be silent about why we do believe.
I’ve spent most of my scholarly career exploring how people speak of encounters with God, or mystery, Spirit or holiness. Call it what you will, the names are many. Many people tell interviewers of moments like mine, encounters which surprised them, enveloped them, assured them, intrigued them, transformed them. Even when they can’t quite describe those moments for others to appreciate, they’ll carry that deep knowing forever. No skeptic can take it away. Yet I’ve also talked with people who’ve never had such a moment, and perhaps long for such assurance. To you I offer the words of Canadian theologian, Gregory Baum. “Prayer is the quiet readiness to be addressed.” Take Psalm 46 to heart. “Be still and know that I am God.”
The season of Lent began this week, a season to reflect on the life of Christ and our own life of faithfulness. In the weeks leading to Easter, seek God’s presence in the midst of your life prayerfully, waiting quietly, listening for something besides your own thoughts and feelings to speak. Be patient and be persistent. As a child, I prayed for over a year before that first life-changing moment of assurance arrived for me. God moves in mysterious ways! And when you encounter the Spirit of God, however you name that powerful hope, tell a trusted friend. Perhaps they’re waiting to share such a moment with you!
Rev. Dr. Nancy Cocks is a retired Presbyterian minister and retired theological professor.