Don’t carry Mom Guilt around; treat Mom like queen Sunday
While this is only pure speculation, I’m convinced the Milky Way Galaxy and everything in it, including our blue planet, was created for the sole purpose of celebrating Momma’s Day. No one ever makes reference to “Father Nature” or “Father Earth” and for good reason; even the powers that be know better than to tick off an angry mom. Whoever said that “you can’t put a price on love” obviously never had to suffer the wrath of a forgotten mother post Mother’s Day because that price is often fatal. Deadlier than the stone stare of Medusa and more venomous than a rattler without the rattle, beware the remorse that only a Mom can deliver should one fail to deliver the goods on a day more important than confederation.
The reinforcement and conditioning of Mother’s Day begins at school and if you give it a little thought, it’s my understanding that half of the school year curriculum is spent preparing for such a momentous event. Compare this to Father’s Day which usually entails 32 seconds of some pine cones being glued to a hunk of wrinkled construction paper and it’s blatantly obvious what parent runs not only the family but the cornerstone of our education system. However it goes much deeper than that and while the following is only a theory that was penned on a stained napkin, I think it’s more than coincidence when we call upon our ecosystem as “Mother Earth” and “Mother Nature” and likewise, Dads get stuck with the less-than-catchy handles of “Father Time” and “Old Man Winter.” Even those prone to cursing like a sailor pay their respects by sometimes incorporating a “mother” before using the queen of all curse words, if you catch my shady drift.
Keeping in mind that if you were to pay your mom for services which include psychologist, chef, chauffeur, janitorial engineer, computer operator, ambassador to the in-laws, doctor, day care centre teacher and so on, you’re looking at $122,932 per year. So unless you don’t mind writing Mom a rubber cheque; 5 bucks, some preventative maintenance and a singing Mother’s Day card will not only ensure you get gravy on your mashed potatoes when Thanksgiving rolls around, it will literally save you from a lifetime of hauling around a suitcase full of Mom Guilt.
And if you’ve got something on your mind, you can find Poncho weekday mornings on Medicine Hat's Best Rock, 105.3 Rock. You can also track him down at www.1053rock.ca or on Twitter @ponchoparker