Reader doesn’t like being touched by anyone
Dear Annie: I am 46 years old and have one problem. I HATE sex.
Everyone, including my boyfriend of seven years, thinks there’s something wrong with me. I’m sure there is, but I have hated having sex since I was first intimate. I can’t believe he has stayed with me this long.
I don’t like to be touched by anyone. As soon as someone gets close, I move away so they don’t accidentally brush against me. I force myself to have sex with my boyfriend and pretend I enjoy it because I know it’s not fair to deny him. But the whole time we are being intimate, I’m thinking, “Is this ever going to end?” What is wrong with me?
Maryland Miss Dear Maryland: Sex should be a pleasurable activity. There are people who are disinterested or ambivalent about sex. But someone who dislikes being touched may have psychological issues that were not resolved or sensory issues that were never addressed. We commend you for being willing to work on this. Please talk to your doctor and a sexuality educator, counsellor or therapist. Dear Annie: I am a first-time grandma to a beautiful baby girl. We live in the same town. I offered to be the caregiver at their home, but my daughter-in-law prefers to take the baby with her on a 50-mile round-trip to a daycare near her job. I was devastated by that decision, but accepted it.
What I’m having trouble understanding is how often I see the baby. During my few short visits, I have not felt comfortable in their home. I communicate with my son because my daughter-in- law seems very standoffish. I told my son I don’t wish to be a burden on their household routine, but twice I made arrangements to see the baby only to be told on the day of that visit that I had to leave after 30 minutes. The last visit was five weeks ago.
I phoned my son and begged to see the baby more often. He agreed at the time that once a week was not unreasonable. I set up an hour visit for this week, and when I arrived at their door, they were preparing to leave the house. My visit, which meant so much to me, was totally forgotten.
Between the pregnancy, the marriage, the birth and moving into their home, I know it’s been stressful, so I’ve tried to be patient. What is a reasonable expectation for visiting the new baby? Want To Know My Granddaughter Dear Want: There is no definitive timetable for visiting. It depends on the flexibility and schedules of those involved, as well as the willingness of the participants. Your daughter-inlaw apparently is not keen on having you around, and your son is caught in the middle. Don’t push. Instead, make it your goal to become closer to your daughter-in-law. If you can help her to be more comfortable around you, the visits will likely increase.