DATING with an app
Smartphone app offers menu of eligible singles
Finding potential dates in this city is simple with the Tinder smartphone app. It’s the face-to-face that can get tricky.
A few deep breaths and I walk into a bar on St-Laurent Blvd., scan the room and recognize my date from the photo on my phone. We order drinks. He does most of the talking, listing everything he dislikes: camping, concerts, people who are overweight and public transportation. I try not to laugh. He tries to assure me that he’s easygoing.
That was one of my first dates from Tinder, a social media application that’s revolutionizing the way singles meet. Initially I was turned off from using an app that encourages judging people solely by their looks. But newly single and back in Montreal, I decided to give it a try.
I set my zone to 10 kilometres and began swiping through photos. “Nope. Nope. Nope. Yes!” I was almost giddy when I found someone attractive, hit the green check mark on the screen and we could start chatting because he’d ‘liked’ me back.
Bus rides and coffee shop lines all became an excuse to pull out my smartphone and everywhere I looked, people were doing the same.
Tinder was launched in 2012 by IAC/InterActiveCorp, an American Internet conglomerate that also owns traditional dating sites such as OKCupid and Match.com. Globally, the company says it sees more than 11 million new matches a day and hundreds of thousands of those are made in Canada. The free app is only for smartphones and users need a Facebook account in order to download it and upload their photos. From there, users set their desired distance and begin swiping through photos of men or women.
The key to the app’s success is its simplicity. It’s a cross between online dating and meeting someone at a bar. The lack of a lengthy online bio facilitates natural conversations — you don’t have to craft messages about puppies, dreamy first dates or supposed shared interests. Unlike online dating sites, Tinder wards off most unwanted suitors since both parties have to ‘like’ each other to chat.
After a week, I had more than a hundred matches. Pick up lines ranged from a simple “Salut” to “You look like a girl I’d want to order Asian babies with.”
Soon I was going through a revolving door of first dates. When things didn’t work out with my not-so-laidback date ‘Jeremy,’ Tinder made it effortless to start talking to someone new. But constantly having so many options didn’t exactly make dating easier.
Some dating experts, including Oxford University researcher Bernie Hogan, believe Tinder is an extension of our mobile world.
“It’s inexpensive speed-dating,” says Hogan. “One can access it anytime.”
Tinder wards off most unwanted suitors since both parties have to ‘like’ each other to chat.
But researcher Jessica Maxwell is wary about the level of convenience Tinder offers. She studies the psychology of relationships at the University of Toronto.
“There’s a term called ‘relationship shopping’ where you scroll through mates like you scroll through clothes on a website,” says Maxwell. “Having so many available attractive alternatives might lead people to have inflated standards and make them less committed to any relationship they’re thinking of starting.”
I’m not sure if I became pickier, but I did go from feeling overwhelmed to quickly forgetting about the last person I’d chatted with.
When the novelty of Tinder wore off, my account became a game for my friends in relationships. One night while they laughed at photos of bare-chested men posing in front of a mirror, a friend admitted that she’d downloaded Tinder.
“It felt good seeing how many people thought I was attractive,” she said.
For some, Tinder isn’t so much a serious dating app as it is a confidence boost. A few friends who set out to meet someone on Tinder did end up in relationships. I, on the other hand, went in with no expectations. I met some interesting people, shared some laughs and realized that I still prefer quality over quantity.
If you want to give Tinder a try, here are a few things to keep in mind: 1. Write more than “Hi” — a clever icebreaker goes a long way. 2. Pick photos that look like you. People will realize that you edited them when they meet you. 3. Since no one wants to read a long bio, choose photos that represent you — six headshots just don’t cut it.