Our guide to the federal leadership campaign
IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD LEADERSHIP RACE OUR GUIDE TO THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY LEADERSHIP CAMPAIGN … AND HOW TO TELL THE 14 CANDIDATES APART.
Right now, 8.2 per cent of the Conservative caucus is running to be Tory leader, with another five non-MPs running just to be sure. With 14 candidates, there are more people vying to be Conservative leader than in the last two decades of Reform, Conservative and Progressive Conservative leadership races combined. To help you cut through the treacle, and perhaps identify the next would-be Diefenbaker, the National Post’s Tristin Hopper and illustrator Brice Hall present That’s My Tory, a guide to the contenders. 1. What candidate says about … abortion.
Pro-life, and since we’re on the subject, I’m also not too pleased with gays marrying. (Lemieux, Trost)
I don’t like abortion, but won’t make it illegal. (Raitt) I’ll let MPs debate it. (Bernier) The abortion question is resolved. (Scheer, O’Toole, Leitch, Chong, Alexander, Saxton, Blaney, Obhrai)
I’m pro-choice. (Peterson)
Why are you, a Conservative, asking me about abortion? Is it because you hate winning elections? (O’Leary)
2. What candidate says about … supply management of eggs, poultry and dairy.
End it. (Bernier) Keep it. (Alexander, Scheer, Leitch, O’Toole, Lemieux, Obhrai, Saxton)
Anyone advocating an end to supply management is an elitist farm-hater. (Blaney)
There’s nothing wrong with supply management that can’t be fixed with more exports to China. (Trost) I love farmers. (Raitt, Peterson, Chong) If we’re going to be renegotiating trade agreements, I’m afraid we need to renegotiate supply management. (O’Leary)
3. What candidate says about … screening immigrants for “Canadian Values.”
Why just immigrants? Screen visitors too! (Leitch)
Canada already does a fine job of screening immigrants. (Obhrai, Bernier, Alexander, O’Toole)
More face-to-face interviews! (Lemieux, Blaney, Saxton)
Value screening is an “Orwellian” bureaucratic dystopia in the making. (Peterson)
The proposal is “un-Canadian.” (O’Leary)
Oh God, shut up about the screening thing. (Chong, Raitt, Obhrai, Scheer)
4. What candidates say about … carbon tax.
Keep it, but make it revenue neutral. (Chong)
Instead, tell businesses to reduce emissions. Jail them if they fail. (O’Leary)
It won’t help stop climate change. (Bernier)
No, just no. (O’Toole, Raitt, Alexander, Bernier, Scheer, Peterson, Lemieux, Leitch, Obhrai, Blaney)
Pfft, man-made climate change isn’t real. (Trost)
No carbon tax unless the Americans also have one. (Saxton)
5. What candidate says about … CBC.
Dismantle it. (Trost, Obhrai)
Dismantle it, except for that part of the CBC that tells people about tornadoes and such. (Leitch)
Stop it from doing anything that a private broadcaster could do. (Bernier)
Cut it down to a news channel, stop with the terrible scripted programming. (Peterson)
I don’t know. Dial back the Trudeau funding-boosts, I guess? (Raitt, Alexander, Blaney, Chong, Lemieux, O’Toole, Saxton, Scheer)
6. French language acumen.
Fluent. (Alexander, Peterson, Blaney, Bernier, Chong)
Pretends they’re fluent. (Scheer, Saxton, Lemieux)
Rusty but adorable. (O’Toole)
“Pardonay moi, monsir, oo et la beebleeothekey?” (Leitch, Raitt, O’Leary, Trost)
You know what? Screw French. (Obhrai)
7. Where candidate grew up.
On a farm. (Chong, Trost)
On the hard-knock streets of Atlantic Canada. (Raitt, O’Toole)
On the hard-knock streets outside Canada. (Obhrai, O’Leary)
On the hard-knock streets of Quebec. (Blaney, Bernier)
On the hard-knock streets of Western Canada. (Leitch, Peterson, Saxton)
In Ottawa, but … I was born in Saskatchewan and love it very much. (Scheer)
Just outside Ottawa (possibly hardknock. (Lemieux)
(Quiet voice if speaking outside GTA) In Toronto. (Alexander)
8. Preferred number of letters after candidates’ name
Two. (Saxton, Obhrai, Chong) Four. (Peterson) Five (Blaney, Trost) Six. (Alexander) Seven. (Lemieux) Nine. (O’Toole) Ten. (Bernier) Eleven. (Raitt) Seventeen. (Leitch)
9. Candidates’ parliamentary experience.
Former cabinet minister. (Alexander, Bernier, Blaney, Raitt, O’Toole, Chong)
Sitting MP. (Chong, Leitch, Obhrai, O’Toole, Scheer, Trost, Bernier, Blaney)
Defeated MP. (Lemieux, Saxton, Alexander)
May or may not have ever been inside the House of Commons. (Peterson, O’Leary)
Whatever. (One vote to each)
10. Preferred appearance of Tory leader
Male pattern baldness. (O’Toole, O’Leary, Blaney, Peterson)
Non-threatening baby face. (Chong, Scheer) Stephen Harper-esque. (Lemieux, Trost) Actually good-looking somehow. (Bernier) Lady. (Raitt, Leitch) ❚Constantly wearing scarf, regardless of weather. (Obhrai) ❚I don’t care; all people are beautiful. (One vote to all)
11. What candidate says they’ll do when they meet Donald Trump.
❚I’ll be super professional. (Trost) I’ll impress him by inviting American investment into Canada. (Peterson)
I’ll tell him that Canada has his back on the international stage. (Alexander)
He’ll trust me because Americans know me from TV. (O’Leary)
I’m totally Trump North, so we’ll get along. (Leitch)
I’ll tell him I abolished supply management, opening up a new market for American farmers. (Bernier)
I’ll get his respect by boosting Canadian participation in NATO and offering a replacement to NAFTA. (Obhrai)
I talk about fighting ISIS a lot, so there’s that. (Blaney)
Unlike a certain Prime Minister, I won’t seem so eager to renegotiate trade agreements. (O’Toole)
Nice talk about free trade won’t work, I’ll have to recruit proCanadian allies in U.S. business. (Scheer)
Please stop mentioning Trump. We do other things. (Chong, Raitt)
Did I mention that I’m a businessman, too? (Saxton) 12. What candidate says about … marijuana.
I don’t like it, but what are you going to do? I’ll just tax the hell out of it. (Peterson)
Keep it medical. No recreational use. (Leitch, Blaney, Obhrai, Trost)
It’s going to be legal. Get used to it. (O’Leary)
Make it so legal that Marc Emery himself will endorse me. (Bernier)
Decriminalization fine, but free-for-all not fine. (Chong)
Well, we certainly wouldn’t put pot in every store window, willynilly. (Alexander)
If it comes up, say something about keeping the children safe. (Scheer, Raitt, O’Toole, Saxton, Lemieux)
13. What candidate says about … guns.
I love law-abiding gun owners, unlike the stupid Liberals. (Bernier, Raitt)
Trust me on this file, I used to get paid to fire guns. (Lemieux, O’Toole)
Guns are sweet. I totally shoot guns all the time. (O’Leary)
Give responsibility for firearm regulation to a non-RCMP body. (Alexander, Blaney, O’Toole, Trost, Saxton, Leitch, Peterson)
Overhaul the firearm-classification system (including an end to arbitrary bans on select firearms due to appearance/reputation). (O’Toole, Blaney, Trost, Scheer, Leitch, Peterson)
Not a lot of gun talk, although candidate presumably likes guns and gun owners very much. (Chong, Obhrai)
14. What candidate says about … Kevin O’Leary.
A household name who is also way smarter than Justin Trudeau. (O’Leary)
A bringer of Trump-like politics that aren’t welcome in Canada. (Chong)
A TV entertainer with absolutely no filter. (Raitt)
A wannabe white knight who doesn’t understand Conservatives. (Obhrai, Alexander)
A chicken for missing the French-language debate. (Scheer, Trost, Blaney)
Seems to be a Liberal, but that’s true of most of my opponents. (Leitch)
You have to speak French to understand Canada, and Kevin can’t do that. (Peterson)
It’s Kevin O’Leary’s way or no way at all. (Lemieux) Not a real conservative. (O’Toole) Politics isn’t Dragons’ Den. (Bernier) I’m a businessman, too, just like Kevin O’Leary. (Saxton)
15. Should the Conservative leader be a guy named “Andrew”?
Yes. (Scheer, Saxton) No. (All other candidates) 16. What candidate says about … First Nations.
Abolish the Indian Act, even if the elitist chiefs disagree with me. (Leitch)
Accelerate modern treaty negotiations and further self-government. (Alexander)
Reserves suck. Dismantle them. (Blaney)
Spend more on First Nations education, even if the last time Conservatives tried that it was a fiery disaster. (Chong)
Expand private onreserve land ownership. (Saxton, Bernier, Raitt)
Fix First Nations health care and meet the requirements of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. (O’Toole)
They want jobs, just like us. And respect. I’ll give them jobs and respect. (O’Leary)
Eliminate the corporate income tax. Natives own corporations, too. (Peterson)
Bring back financial transparency, don’t repeal Indian Act for sake of it. (Raitt)
Make all Canadians rich forever, including First Nations. (Scheer)
If asked, mumble something about how the lack of running water on reserves is unacceptable or something. (Lemieux, Obhrai, Trost)
16. What candidate says about … Justin Trudeau
Surfer boy. (O’Leary) Thinks he’s on a movie set. (Saxton) Doing selfies is not leadership. (Trost) Lives in the world of the Care Bears. (Scheer)
Doesn’t understand economics. (Raitt)
His dad doomed my family to poverty and I seek vengeance. (Peterson)
Canadians don’t go around asking for nannies to take care of their children. (Obhrai)
A Canadian identity denier. (Leitch) Celebrity-in-chief. (O’Toole) He and his team have their hands in the pockets of Canadians. (Alexander) Is pandering to the provinces. (Bernier) Cares more about Princess Leia than fighting jihadists. (Blaney)
Is doing the carbon tax all wrong. (Chong)
No depths to which he won’t stoop for more tax dollars. (Lemieux)
17. What candidate says about … Kellie Leitch.
A dear friend, but also an unhinged maniac who has to be stopped at all costs. (Raitt) A karaoke Donald Trump. (Bernier) A race-baiter. (Chong) Crassly importing American rhetoric. (Alexander)
The only one protecting us from Canada-hating elites. (Leitch)
One of my closest friends, but I think she’s just trying to get attention. (O’Toole)
A total writeoff as an electable leader. (O’Leary)
Spiritual inspiration for xenophobic attacks. (Obhrai) Leave Kellie alone! (Blaney) She’s wrong to scare away immigrants. Those are great for the economy. (Peterson)
Anybody else think it’s weird that she keeps accusing everyone of being elites? (Scheer)
(Polite silence) (Trost, Lemieux)
18. Pipelines, debt-reduction, Israel, free trade, low taxes, praise for the steady, noble stewardship of Stephen J. Harper.
Yes. (All candidates)
19. Wild card! Pick your favourite pet policy.
Term limits on Supreme Court justices. (Lemieux)
End corporate taxes. Implement flat tax on income. (Peterson)
Free membership in Canadian political parties. (Chong)
Kick diesel by filling the North with tiny nuclear reactors. (Blaney)
Build a bunch of fast neutron reactors. (Obhrai)
Legalize pepper spray for women’s selfdefence. (Leitch)
Boost immigration to 400,000 per year. (Alexander) Sell Senate appointments. (O’Leary) A Canada/U.K./New Zealand/Australia trade bloc, sort of like the old days. (O’Toole)
End supply management. (Bernier)
Cap government spending. (Raitt)
Add property rights to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. (Scheer)
Allow off-duty police officers to conceal-carry. (Trost)
Better campaign strategies for the Party. (Saxton)