It’s up to adults to show leadership

Re: “Rid my sons’ school of slurs: mother” (Montreal Gazette, March 7)

It saddens me to think that as a result of these schoolyard slurs, Rosemère might be perceived as a racist community. Racism and discrimination are all around us. They can, in some instances, be controlled. But discrimination will never go away. Of this, I am sure.

What I am not sure of is equating schoolyard slurs to racism. Using the N-word is repulsive, and measures need to be taken to eliminate its use along with the use of many other words. But how confused our children must be when some forms of today’s popular music seemingly use the N-word as a means of cultural identity.

Racism and discrimination are learned. And, more often than not, they are learned in the home. Schools, communities and government agencies in this country have a responsibility to society to uphold the tenets of Section 15 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms — which guarantees equality rights. But reversing what is learned in some homes as acceptable behaviour is very difficult and takes time.

Even as adults, most of us lack the courage to tell a business colleague that the joke he made at the office party about the “cheap Jew” is inappropriate; most of us lack the courage to tell our friends at a dinner party that their comments about blacks, Muslims or gays are in poor taste; most of us lack the courage to look people in the eye and tell them they are perpetuating a problem.

We like to think we set the right examples for our children. But how many times have you heard someone you know start a sentence with “I’m not racist, but …” and go on to say something discriminatory, while those around him or her say nothing.

Unless we have the courage to overcome the difficult (awkward) moments that will follow taking a stand, we are failing our children and many of them will go on using the N-word in the schoolyard.

It’s easy to tell your kids “That’s not right.” What is difficult is leading by example and having the courage to do (and say) something about it, then and there. Philip Panet-Raymond, Rosemère