Mother-in-law’s angst needs to be addressed

Dear Annie: I am a longtime reader of your column, but now I need advice. I recently married my husband after nearly a five-year engagement. My husband’s mother has begun vocalizing some colourful opinions of late, and it is causing problems. She has been spreading rumours that I fancy abusing my husband. She finds his friends on social media and then convinces them that I am harming him.

I am unsure where this new-found hatred for me is coming from, but I can think of two possible reasons. The first is that despite acting as if she was OK with her son’s marrying another man, she isn’t very comfortable with it. The second is that she used to be able to convince him that she needed money, which she would promptly spend at the casino, a financial burden we could not afford. I recently persuaded him to stop supporting her gambling habit and said that if she needs something, we can buy it for her. I want our marriage to thrive. Any guidance is appreciated. Loved and Loathed Dear Loved and Loathed: Spreading false rumours about someone is not only rude; if it goes too far, it can be considered slander and have legal consequences. I am in no way suggesting that you sue your mother-in-law, but I want to reassure you that your frustration is valid and this is a serious matter.

Likewise, your mother-inlaw’s gambling addiction is serious. At the very least, you and your husband should consider attending a Gam-Anon meeting in your area. If he refuses to go, then go on your own at first. Furthermore, I recommend that you and your husband find a marital counsellor. Reaching out for professional help could save your marriage.

Dear Annie: I work at a fastfood restaurant, and there are nights when we get very busy. Whenever we do get busy, my co-workers are very cranky. They’re constantly arguing with one another and snapping at one another. Annie, it feels as if I’m the only one at my workplace who even tries to keep a positive attitude when we’re busy. Should I try to persuade the others to let things go, or is this a case of “if you can’t beat them, join them”? Only Optimist

Dear Optimist: Keep smiling. My father used to always say that no hard work goes unnoticed. Even if at the moment it doesn’t seem as if you are being appreciated, in the long run, you will be much more successful in life with a positive attitude. It feels good to take pride in your work. With your outlook, you’ll end up running the restaurant or achieving any goals you set your mind to.