When HR is a problem instead of a solution
Dear Annie: We work in a small office with just over 20 employees. It has recently become common knowledge that the human resources manager, “Melissa,” is sleeping with the principal in our firm, “Larry.” Throughout her eight years with this private firm, the closed-door huddles were always viewed as suspect, but they were both married, and those of us naive enough to assume the best hoped that it was professional.
Regardless, Melissa has never been seen as an effective HR representative. With the revelation of their affair, she’s lost all remaining credibility in her role. Is there a standard of ethics for an HR department? It’s a department of one, so where should we employees turn with an issue that clearly could not be handled by her with an unbiased perspective? Unrepresented
Dear Unrepresented: Shame on these two for letting their dirty laundry stink up the whole office. Melissa’s job as the HR representative is to regulate fraternization, not engage in it. If there is anyone above or equal to Larry’s ranking, anonymously report your concerns. If Larry doesn’t recognize the error of his ways yet, he’ll soon see the consequences.
Dear Annie: I just read the letter from “Lonesome,” the 52-year-old man who thinks it’s too late for him. Just over a year ago, I was in the same kind of situation. Then I decided to make one last desperate attempt at happiness. Instead of focusing on being so sweet and kind that someone would rescue me from my dreadful, boring, dull existence, I would focus on rescuing myself.
Mr. Old Man at 52, stop waiting for someone else to make your life good. Get up and do something you enjoy. Smile. Laugh when something strikes you as funny. Become someone you like.
You can meet a lot of people in your lifetime. Some will like you; some will not. From a woman’s point of view, I can tell you that the most attractive men are those who are interested in their own lives.
I understand that after doing all that caring, you might feel hurt that no one is now caring for you in the same way. Give the care to yourself that you would give to a close friend. You deserve it. Encourage yourself.
You’re too old? Balderdash. I’m 15 years older than you. Wake up, kid. You can build yourself a life you enjoy! I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying you can do it.
Been There
Dear Been: I appreciate your self-empowered perspective. All your suggestions are great advice for anyone at any point in life.