Another coyote sighting on the island? Get used to it

Uh, just when you thought it was safe to take your pooch to the dog walk, it’s back. The coyote, I mean.

One was recently spotted near Ecclestone Park in Kirkland. I thought it funny that it was reported to be in “good health.” Why shouldn’t it be, with all of the great tidbits available in the West Island? One never sees an animal dragging its paws around the West Island with a cigarette in its mouth and a hacking smoker’s cough, anyway. And, to be honest, saying that it appeared to be in good health for a coyote is really an oxymoron because as a species the creature personifies scruffiness and terminal undernourishment.

Apparently, there are a fair number of them on the island of Montreal (a thousand estimated), so it should be no surprise to anyone that an ambitious Canadian version of a dingo decides to migrate to Kirkland for a freer and greener range to roam, and a better garbage buffet. City officials are saying you should not feed any coyotes as they will become less afraid of human beings. I think there are oblivious people out there that would feed a Tyrannosaurus rex if we still had any.

I must say, however, that over the years I have seen an increase in zootopia within the suburban sanctuary of the West Island. On any given morning, I fully expect to wake up to see a Noah’s ark-like lineup at my compost box. Raccoons, skunks, squirrels and groundhogs are regulars. Some bring their litter of young ones like it’s some sort of family outing to Jack Astor’s without the crayons.

People look at coyotes like they are unwashed hobos squatting where they shouldn’t. I think they are unfairly categorized because of their appearance. We like squirrels, which are nothing but bushy-tailed rats. We hate coyotes, which are essentially dusted, colourless foxes that could use fattening up. Spot an occasional fox on your front lawn and you think that you are having a National Geographic moment. Folks, all but for the grace of God, these guys are coyotes with an expensive fur coat. Some people find raccoons cute but they are just badgers without an attitude (some, anyway).

If coyotes could hire lawyers, they would sue us for discrimination — or at least hire public relations professionals. Coyotes serve a purpose: They keep the roadrunner population in check. It’s working. Do you see any roadrunners in Kirkland?

And as far as dangerous goes, I can’t build up any fight-or-flee adrenalin over some cowering quadruped whose head is so low its nose has turf burn. I am genuinely more terror-stricken by a pit bull approaching me on the sidewalk even if its owner has it on a chain thick enough to hold a cruise ship. These miniature grizzly bears look like they eat stainless steel for lunch.

Coyotes are the only suburban animals that to me, frankly, look lost. Despite the protests of the locals, I think that in time these out-of-work poor man’s mutts will probably assimilate into the animal subculture of the West Island.

More and more urban cities are reporting these five- to 50-pound canines. They’re smart and shy for the most part. It’s not their fault that cute is a prerequisite for being accepted in the West Island animal kingdom. Sightings are becoming common. Get used to it. Their natural habitats are shrinking; that is the point. Can polar bears be far behind? If so, please do not feed them.