IDRIS ELBA SAVES THE DAY
Star makes up for a miscast McConaughey in The Dark Tower, Chris Lackner writes.
MOVIES Big releases on Friday: The Dark Tower
Big picture: Imagine the last knight at an empty round table, armed with two guns instead of a sword. Meet the last Gunslinger, Roland (Idris Elba), a cross between an Arthurian knight, a Jedi and a cowboy — who just happens to live in a burnt-out, mystical Mad Maxian wasteland. Along with the help of a human boy from Manhattan, our champion Gunslinger engages in an epic battle with the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey). They both seek control over the fate of the Dark Tower, a powerful, dangerous source of energy that holds reality itself together. At stake: not only the Gunslinger’s world, but also our own.
This is the long-awaited adaptation of what critics (and the author himself ) see as Stephen King’s true masterpiece. The only downside? McConaughey looks like a slick-haired ’80s bassist — not a mad Merlin or Faustian devil.
However, Elba, always larger than life, carries the weight of many worlds on his shoulders in every frame.
Forecast: Ride on, Gunslinger. Finally, a new fantasy franchise worth saddling up for. (On a side note: I expect Donald Trump will soon re-deploy most of American’s military resources to finding the Dark Tower — after all, fact and fiction are indistinguishable to this president.)
TV
Big events: Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (Sunday, Space); 21 Thunder (Monday, CBC)
Big picture: 21 Thunder is Friday Night Lights meets a sport the world (not just North America) actually cares about. This sports drama centres on a fictional famous soccer academy (Thunder U21) based in Montreal. Enjoy the on- and off-field antics and scandal in a drama that bills itself as “a story of love, crime, race, sex and athletic glory.”
The magnetic Canuck actor Colm Feore guest stars as a crime boss with family ties to a rising young soccer star.
Meanwhile, it’s raining sharks, hallelujah! After destroying most of America, falling sharks are devouring everything from the Great Wall and the pyramids to Big Ben. Tara Reid and Ian Ziering return as the heroic couple that always stops the toothy menaces (the actors, after all, must earn their once-a-year paycheques). New guest stars include Olivia Newton-John, skateboarder Tony Hawk and Fabio (playing the Pope). Silly indeed.
Forecast: Another Sharknado is always reason to dive into your comfy chair. It’s the ultimate summer silliness in the silliest of TV seasons. I’m already looking forward to Sharknado 6: Michael Phelps Strikes Back. As for 21 Thunder. I would have preferred a show about a vampire soccer team that can only play night games, forfeiting all day matches until it makes the league championship (a dreaded matinee game). Now that’s overcoming adversity.
MUSIC
Big releases on Friday: George Thorogood (Party of One), Johnson Crook (The Album)
Big picture: Legendary guitarist and vocalist George Thorogood goes solo with the aptly titled Party of One. The acoustic-driven album features covers of traditional and hit blues songs, including John Lee Hooker’s One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer and The Rolling Stones’ No Expectations.
Meanwhile, up-and-coming Canadian roots band Johnson Crook releases its full-length debut. Harmony-filled roots rock is welcome in today’s music scene, and fans should be ready to embrace a new homegrown talent. Moreover, the Toronto band just released the song Canada to Heartbreak for Canada’s 150th birthday.
Who knew Canada needed its own blues-rock song? I assume the alternate titles for the track included Tim Hortons Morning Lineup Blues and Why Did I Enroll My Kid in Hockey, Forcing Me to Waste Every Weekend Driving to a Tournament in the Middle of Nowhere Blues. On a side note, veteran Tom Cochrane turns up for guest vocals on the band’s new song Mr. Nobody. Mr. Nobody he ain’t. Forecast: Party on, George. People will be listening. Honourable mention: Randy Newman (Dark Matter). This album includes Newman’s 2016 song, Putin, a brassy and sardonic number about the Russian leader that Newman was inspired to write after seeing a picture of Putin without a shirt. (Thank goodness Newman isn’t a visual artist.)