ALOUETTES’ LIFE COACH HELPS PLAYERS COPE WITH PRESSURE
Montreal pastor works both as a sounding board for problems and as spiritual guide
He has an office at Olympic Stadium and seems comfortable in his Alouettes windbreaker. Lorenzo DellaForesta has never played a game for the CFL team, but few in the city can say they relish each victory by the team, or agonize over the defeats, more than he does.
“Absolutely. I love the Alouettes and this was a natural fit,” the 48-year-old Montreal native said with pride. “But being around these guys I have to not be a fan; that will get you fired. Do your job, do it well, remember where you are and what your role is.
“It’s hard at times to separate that. I am a fan,” he added. “I want these guys to win. I want them to succeed. I feel like I’m personally invested in each and every one of them. I spend a lot of time with them. It’s hard when they don’t succeed.”
DellaForesta is a pastor, affiliated with River’s Edge Community Church in Notre-Dame-deGrâce. He’s in his sixth season as the Als’ chaplain, a position which has become popular with most CFL teams. He volunteered his time for five seasons, devoting as much as 20 hours weekly. He invited players into his home with regularity, providing them with a meal when necessary.
But it took the foresight of general manager Kavis Reed, working diligently at changing the team’s culture, to believe DellaForesta was capable of more.
Reed appointed DellaForesta the Als’ life coach, giving him additional responsibilities. He’s there as a sounding board for any problems or conflicts that might arise — and they do. He’s also there for spiritual purposes, leading any players who have the desire for Bible study once a week following practice and before games. When his schedule permits, DellaForesta travels to East Division road games and Reed has explored the idea of having him accompany the team on all its trips next season.
The life of a pro athlete appears glamorous, but the average career will last only three or four seasons. There will be injuries and occasional periods of loneliness — which arise when a player arrives in a new city and country — and many other issues. Reed wants them to be better prepared to cope with life after football.
“The tendency in pro sports, and put yourself in the mind of an athlete, you can tend to get caught up in the moment,” Reed said. “We tell them to get caught up, but real life can have a harsh reality if we don’t do things now to help them prepare.
“We see players as objects. A lot of outsiders see a player’s value as the price of a ticket. But that’s someone’s son, dad or brother. And they have 60 or 70 years of life ahead. It’s the responsibility of any pro organization to try and develop these young men.”
There has been a steady path to the door of DellaForesta’s office.
“After a loss, everyone’s more willing to talk. They’re more open and receptive in terms of looking for answers. And it’s not just the players,” he said. “It’s been devastatingly hard for everyone.
“You have to be a good communicator,” said DellaForesta, married 20 years and the father of two. “More importantly, you have to be a very good listener and be able to build trust, go at it slowly. Sometimes it takes a few seasons.”
DellaForesta was a running back in the Sun Youth system who decided to focus on his studies when he entered Vanier College. He said he knows and understands the game, what it’s like to be an athlete and the inherent challenges that accompany the mantle. He said he always felt a desire to help people — more importantly, listening to them — before discovering the spiritual component.
Working with athletes, he said, is very different.
“Obviously their primary focus is football, to perform well and execute what’s demanded of them. To keep their position they might have to overthrow someone else. It’s very competitive,” he said. “As a result, it can be difficult to always maintain a positive attitude, to not let words affect you, to stay focused. The players say they don’t pay attention (to the media or criticism) and act aloof, like it doesn’t matter. But it matters a lot.”
DellaForesta doesn’t attempt to tackle any issue or problem for which he doesn’t feel qualified, instead referring the player to a specialist.
“I see what happens during a game or on the sideline, in the locker-room, after treatments,” he said. “If a guy’s injured, they’re treated and looked at differently. They’ve been replaced. You have to make sure they’re feeling positive.
“These guys might be physically tough, but not mentally or emotionally. They’ve gone through so many hardships. They’re amazing at resiliency, at persevering, and know how to overcome. But becoming whole and having health in every phase of life is not something they’re equipped to do.
“The greatest advantage I have,” he said, “is that if one player has a good experience, he’ll share that with another player. Through that word of mouth it allows people to keep coming.”