Financial assistance or manipulation?

Dear Annie: I have a family dilemma. My mother is 95 years old and still living in her own home. My wife and I see her five or more times a week and help her with household chores and getting to doctors’ appointments. My brother and sister also help but to a lesser extent. My father passed away last February, and my mother misses him.

The problem is that since dad passed away, my younger sister has involved herself in my mother’s financial matters. She got her name put on my mother’s chequing and savings accounts. She also got her name put on my mother’s investments as a trader. These investment accounts each contain thousands of dollars. My mother also has a will that names me, the oldest, as executor of that will.

My wife and I believe my mother was manipulated into this situation: She was grieving and my sister took advantage. My sister explained her actions as an effort to help my mother write cheques and balance her chequing account, although my mother writes her own cheques and balances her chequing account without assistance. My mother’s will states that she wants her estate to go equally to her three children after she gives her nine grandchildren $1,000 a piece. I don’t really want to think ill of my sister, and I keep looking for the silver lining in this matter. — Concerned for Mom Dear Concerned for Mom: Start with mom. The next time you’re one-on-one with her, ask her open-ended questions to see how she feels about her finances. Then I would talk to your brother to see if he shares any concerns about your sister’s management of her funds. If she is siphoning money from your mother’s accounts as you say she is, consider consulting an attorney about your options.

Dear Annie: I have a 6-year-old son. We recently acquired 14 chicks to help take care of the tick population in our yard, and my son loves them. But our old coop is rundown and too small for all of these soonto-be hens! I seem to remember that years ago, a young man wrote in and asked for readers to send him a penny to help pay for college. I was wondering if my son, Tobin, could experience the farreaching kindness of strangers to help with this problem. Could folks perhaps take a moment and send a penny to a boy and his special pets? — Cooped in Connecticut Dear Cooped in Connecticut: That young man was ahead of his time: He was crowdsourcing before online platforms such as Kickstarter, GoFundMe and Indiegogo existed. I’d highly recommend starting a fundraiser through one of those websites.