Montreal Gazette

Worker ostracized because of parentage

- DEAR ANNIE ANNIE LANE

Dear Annie:

I need your advice. In my social life and at my places of employment, I used to tell people that the man who raised me with my mom was not my biological father. At work, customers and co-workers would say unkind things to me about that. Then, a few weeks later, I would get let go for no logical reason, or it would turn into a hostile work environmen­t and I would be forced to quit. I had a DNA test done, and it turns out that my dad is my biological father.

I don’t feel I owe people an explanatio­n, and even if I did, they would probably not believe me anyway. How do I handle these horrible people? —Really Dad’s Little Girl

Dear Really Dad’s Little Girl:

I’m thinking there must be more to the story than you’ve included in your letter, because their behaviour sounds bizarre. If you were terminated because of your parentage, you should have legal recourse. Contact an attorney.

Dear Annie:

My wife and I are in our late 20s and have been married since we were 18. We have two wonderful children. The problem I’m having is dealing with my wife’s mother.

We recently moved to a new city so my wife could be closer to her side of the family. We have now lived in this city for three years, and in that time, my wife’s mother has never made an attempt to re-establish any type of relationsh­ip with my wife — or our children.

Every time there is a family function going on, my mother-in-law does everything in her power to keep my wife from finding out about it. And whenever we host family functions, my wife’s mother always has an excuse for why she won’t be able to attend.

In addition, my wife and I have not had one night to ourselves since we were in high school. I think that is where grandparen­ts and other family members should be involved. I know that my wife wants to create a relationsh­ip with her mom that she never had, just as she wants our children to have a grandmothe­r in their lives. Am I wrong for wanting to protect my wife from certain heartbreak? Or should I let this go and let my wife handle her mother? —Protective Husband

Dear Protective Husband:

Your mother-in-law sounds like a real piece of work, but there isn’t much you can do about changing her attitude or behaviour. You can and should continue giving your wife support and encouragem­ent, but her relationsh­ip with her mother is between the two of them. As for getting away together alone for a night or weekend, what about other members of her side of the family? If no one will help, then maybe you could consider moving closer to your side of the family. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonist­s, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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