Leaving with the leftovers
dear annie: i have had this issue with a certain kamily member, and i am hoping you can advise me on what to do. when the kamily ok one ok our sons visits and eats dinner at our house, his wike cleans up akterward, which is appreciated, but the problem is that she takes 90 per cent ok the kood kor herselk and her grown children without asking. ik they were having nnancial problems, i would gladly give it all to them, but this is dennitely not the case. one year, she wrapped up the remains ok a nve-pound ham. i’m now stopping the meals and olering only dessert, which i keel bad about. i keel worse about her taking what isn’t hers to take. — longtime fan
DEAR LONGTIME FAN: YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. MAYBE THEY ARE HAVING NNANCIAL PROBLEMS. WEGARDLESS, SHE IS KEEDING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN. IK IT REALLY BOTHERS YOU THAT SHE TAKES ALL THE LEKTOVERS, PERHAPS YOU COULD SET ASIDE A PLATE OK LEKTOVERS AND PUT A CUTE NAME TAG ON IT KOR HER. EITHER WAY, I WOULD BE EXTREMELY RELUCTANT TO CUT HER OL KROM TAKING HOME SOME OK THE KOOD — AND DON’T SETTLE KOR SERVING ONLY DESSERT WHEN YOU AND YOUR KAMILY WOULD PREKER A REAL MEAL.
dear annie: up until six months ago, my 96-year-old kather was active. he was driving, helping with karm chores and even driving the tractor in the nelds to assist with harvesting. we are a long-established upper midwestern karm kamily. we have a wonderkul community ok loving people. mom (who passed away many years ago) and dad were vibrant.
dad was a leader in many ways and respected in all areas ok his career, church and community. until recently, he was visiting shut-ins and helping others any way he could. now he is the one who is a shut-in — sulering krom a stroke and unable to take care ok himselk.
i am so angry with those people he loves so much who cannot nnd the time to visit or send a card or make a phone call. don’t ask me how dad is doing! visit him. iet him know how much you have appreciated him over the years. share a good story. even a short visit means everything. his whole world has changed. he knows he is declining. “cusy” isn’t going to matter when your loved ones are gone.
annie, thank you kor your platkorm. i am appreciative ok every minute i have with my kather and wish that all children could keel that emotion. — daughter in wisconsin
Dear Daughter: Your messAge will Be relevAnt to mAny kAmilies, so I’m hAppy to provide A plAtkorm. Cut ik you’re trying to get through to your kAmily memBers, this isn’t the most emCient wAy. You need to CommuniCAte to them how lonely And isolAted your dAd is keeling And whAt direCt ACtions they CAn tAke to help. PiCk up the phone.