THE NEW XJR 575 IS THE BEST BIG JAG IN DECADES
It’s hard not to describe Jaguar’s long-wheelbase XJR 575 as just one massive male protuberance. I mean, what else can you really say about a car that is: A) way bigger than it needs to be, at 5,255 millimetres from bumper to bumper, B) has more horsepower — 575, as a matter of fact — than any limousine driver will ever be able to use, and C) is almost universally bought by men?
I haven’t even touched on its loutish fuel economy, difficulty to park and, my Lord, its insurance costs. None of it matters: The Jaguar XJR 575 Long Wheelbase is the best big Jaguar in decades.
You only have to say one word — OK, one number — and the whole thing makes sense. Five hundred and seventy five horses is a lot in anyone’s book, but the way Jaguar’s uber-boosted supercharged 5.0-litre V8 literally gushes out torque is as addicting. Even on completely dry roads, its 517 pound-feet of torque challenges traction and has those big Pirelli winter tires in the rear spinning like a mad thing until the traction control kicks in. Throttle response is gitup-and-go quick, and yes, those 575 horses are only going to the rear wheels.
“Thuggish” is what Top Gear calls this combination of mondo-boosted V8, eight-speed automatic and rear-wheel drive. I prefer magical.
It doesn’t drive as big as it is. That might be because it is not as big as it looks. Despite measuring 5,255 millimetres stem to stern — virtually the same as a long-wheelbase Mercedes-Benz S -Class — it weighs, thanks to an all-aluminum superstructure, a semi-reasonable 1,885 kilograms. Now that is hardly svelte, but compared to the other behemoths that prowl the longwheelbase luxury sedan segment, it might as well be made of balsa. Hence, the modicum of feel to the steering and the relative lack of sway to its cornering.
You can fit a basketball team — or at least, the centres — in the back seat. Despite the fact that it goes like a scalded cat, this is one roomy sedan. From the front seat, the 575 feels like a hot-rod. In the back, a limo. Not a bad combination.
Despite the emphasis on performance, the big Jaguar still rides well. It doesn’t coddle as a regular XJ might — or a Mercedes or Lexus, for that matter — but you’ll be so busy giggling every time you hit the gas you won’t notice the pebble in the road. More importantly, since
the 575 is the only V8-powered XJ Jaguar is importing for 2018, you’ll have to get used to its firmness if you want its baritone.
The interior is plush. There’s plenty of carbon fibre about, the leather is exquisite and Lordy, can the Meridian sound system ever pump out Enya. I’m not sure if it’s because there are 26 speakers or it’s the result of 1,300 watts carrying me on waves to lands I’ve never been, but this thing rings clear as a bell. Interestingly, the XJ’s now older-generation Touch Pro infotainment system isn’t nearly as attractive as the newer version on the Range Rover Velar, but it is easier to use.
It sounds ridiculous, but the XJR 575 price of $126,500 is relatively reasonable. Consider this: The equivalent Mercedes-Benz, the AMG S63, costs $163,500, though it does have all-wheel drive. Ditto for the BMW M760Li xDrive, which, though it sports four more pistons, doesn’t feel substantially more fleet and costs $162,200. Even Jaguar’s own F-Type SVR, with which it shares an engine, costs $139,500 despite having, well, less of everything except engine.
But the real reason you’ll want the XJR 575 is because it’s relevant. I gave a couple of pupils from my Puking-with-Dave boxing class a ride, and they were so thrilled they Snapchatted to all their buddies. The last time someone Snapchatted an XJ, it was called taking a Polaroid. If the new 575 is cool to 14-yearolds, that means it’s hip to everyone. Even if the only people who can afford it are geriatrics. Driving.ca