It’s time to test out independence

DEAR ANNIE: I AM A 20-YEAR-OLD OMAN, AND I FEEL THAT MY FAMILY IS TOXIC FOR ME.

MY GRANDFATHER, AUNTS AND UNCLES HAVE RAISED ME SINCE I AS THREE YEARS OLD. I DO NOT KNO

HERE MY FATHER IS, AND MY MOTHER IS NOT SUPPORTING ME. (IT GOES ITHOUT SAYING THAT SHE AND I DON’T HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.)

MY GRANDFATHER IS THE ONE HO PAYS TO SEND ME TO SCHOOL, BUT IN EXCHANGE FOR THAT, HE TREATS ME POORLY. HE ASKS ME TO DO A LOT OF CHORES, SUCH AS TURNING ON THE TV FOR HIM, MAKING COFFEE, CLEANING HIS ROOM AND MORE. I FEEL AS IF I’M SUPPOSED TO BE A MAID.

ADDITIONALLY, HE SCOLDS ME IF I CANNOT ANS ER HIS PHONE CALLS OR IF I DO SOMETHING THAT HE DOESN’T ANT ME TO DO, SUCH AS GOING OUT ITH FRIENDS. HE THINKS HE’S AL AYS RIGHT.

EVEN MY UNCLES NO TREAT ME AS IF I OE THEM BABYSITTING SERVICES. THEY CALL ME ALL THE TIME TO BE AT THEIR HOUSES JUST TO ATCH OVER THEIR KIDS, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE MAIDS AT HOME. IF I DON’T COMPLY, THEY GET ANGRY. THEY SEEM TO ANT ME TO BE BRAINLESS.

THEY HAVE AL AYS COMMENTED ON HAT I SHOULD DO ITH MY LIFE, TOO. THEY ANT ME TO GO INTO A CERTAIN LINE OF ORK THAT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN, FOR EXAMPLE.

FOR THE 17 YEARS I’VE BEEN ITH THEM, I’VE NEVER FELT I AM TRULY LOVED, BECAUSE TRUE LOVE DOES NOT NEED ANYTHING IN RETURN. YES, THEY DID HELP ME IN MY STUDIES. BUT I NEVER HAD MY FREEDOM, AND I NEVER MADE DECISIONS FOR MYSELF.

THEY ARE SO TOXIC. THEY’VE MADE ME CRY SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE. IT SEEMS I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

NO THAT I AM GRADUATING, I ANT TO FIND ORK THAT SUITS ME AND TO BE FREE. I ANT TO BE ALONE

AND DECIDE THINGS FOR MYSELF.

WHAT CAN I DO AS A CAREER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE JUST TO BE A AY FROM THEM? OR HAT ARE THE OTHER SOLUTIONS TO BE A AY FROM THEM? —LONGING TO BREAK FREE

DEAR LONGING TO BREAK FREE: MAKING COFFEE AND DOING SOME LIGHT CLEANING IN EXCHANGE FOR ROOM, BOARD AND TUITION — THAT’S NOT A BAD DEAL. THAT BEING SAID, YOUR ISH FOR INDEPENDENCE IS HEALTHY — OR IT CAN BE, IF YOU ACT ON IT INSTEAD OF LETTING IT FESTER INTO BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT.

START MAKING PLANS NO , AS GRADUATION ILL BE HERE BEFORE YOU KNO IT. SEE YOUR SCHOOL’S CAREER COUNSELLING DEPARTMENT FOR HELP BUILDING A RESUME AND FINDING JOB LEADS.

SIGN UP FOR JOB HUNTING SITES, SUCH AS INDEED, LINKEDIN AND CAREERBUILDER.

OR CONSIDER MORE OUTSIDE-THE-BOX AYS TO GET NE EXPERIENCES, SUCH AS ORKING ITH WORLD WIDE OPPORTUNITIES ON ORGANIC FARMS (KNO N AS WWOOFING).

IT’S TIME TO STRETCH THOSE INGS AND PREPARE TO LEAVE THE NEST. THE DISTANCE MIGHT HAVE A AY OF IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, BY THE AY. ABSENCE REALLY DOES MAKE THE HEART GRO FONDER.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.