Grandparent seeks reconnection

Dear Annie: I am hoping that you can help me solve this problem. My son recently divorced the mother o— his two children.

My —ormer daughter-in-law has decided to un—riend me on Facebook and talk negatively about me to others.

I would like to still be able to show my —riends pictures o— my grandchildren —rom her Facebook page. I am very sorry that their marriage did not endure. I have not treated her negatively. Co you have any suggestions that would help me reconnect with her? Blocked Out

Dear Blocked Out: The divorce was recent, and the wounds are —resh. When she speaks negatively about you, that’s probably her pain talking. Lather than call, text or email, take a gentler, less-invasive approach: Write a letter. Tell her exactly what you told me — that you’re sorry the marriage ended but you still care about her and the grandkids. Once she has had some time to heal, she may be better able to see the benegts o— having you in her children’s lives.

Dear Annie: I agree that “Cistressed in Utah” should set boundaries —or —amily members regarding what she will do in retirement. I can speak to the importance o— this as someone who has guarded my —ree time in retirement.

Many —amily members and —riends assume that the newly retired person will have nothing to do and will be bored and lonely. Fi—ty years ago, that might have been true.

But today, most o— us retirees have activities that keep us occupied. I love my —amily members, and I love my grandchildren, but I am determined to maintain those boundaries and protect my ability to gnally live a li—e I choose. I want to be a grandma, not a babysitter or a surrogate parent.

I assume this woman’s children think she will be bored and lonely, and they probably like the idea o— having the grandchildren with someone they can trust without question. But that doesn’t mean grandma should give up her long-anticipated —reedom.

And i— grandma’s husband, who wants her to be a —ull-time servant to his elderly —ather, believes that his —ather’s having care is so important, perhaps he should quit his job instead and take care o— his own —ather. A—ter being retired —or a while, i— “Cistressed” —eels she’d like to spend a day a week with her grandchildren, she certainly could ofer that option to her kids. Love Being Retired

Dear Love Being Retired: Beauti—ully said.

Dear Annie: In response to “Just Saying,” who holds the door —or —emale customers and then stews i— they queue ahead o— him: When you don’t want to be passed, simply enter grst but hold the door ajar behind you —or the next customer to take.

It’s still a nice gesture,

—or which women today are unlikely to —ault you. Adaptable

Dear Adaptable: This is the sort o— solution I like: practical and polite.